


The Things You Do to Me

by MyKreekeyHeart



Category: Naruto
Genre: Because of Reasons, Because yes, Everyone Is Gay, First Love, First Meetings, Fluff and Smut, Forced Bonding, Gai being a good adoptive dad, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kiba is more primal, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Other, Scents & Smells, Sleeping Together, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Soul Mates?, Tsunade being a bad hokage, kankuro being Kankuro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26249740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyKreekeyHeart/pseuds/MyKreekeyHeart
Summary: After Kankuro saves Kiba from Sakon and Ukon of the Sound, Kiba can't seem to keep himself thinking straight; Kankuro doesn't help, and neither does the medicine that The Lady Tsunade prescribed for him. Since when did Kankuro have this effect on him.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*I'm bad at summaries, essentially post-Sakon and Ukon ep. wherein Kankuro drags Kiba home, and gives Tsunade's medication a bad review after it turns Kiba into his soul mate :/
Relationships: Inuzuka Kiba/Kankurou
Comments: 19
Kudos: 68





	1. Cherry Coke and Cough syrup

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> I was really sad to see how few works there are dedicated to this ship considering how big the Naruto fanbase is, and I had this idea, well several actually, and so I decided why the hell not. Let me know if you all enjoy this and maybe I'll post more of it :), it will be my first official work so go easy on me!

Fear does weird things to people. Now, would I say that I was afraid? No, but that would be the fear talking. 

Watching the puppet fucker wreck Sakon and Ukon while I bled out on the forest floor was somehow the hottest possible situation I could have found myself in, even if nothing was hot about it at the time. And yet, in the nights following, there would only one thing on my mind. Perhaps it was the life saving that made every part of my being, except my head scream "THAT ONE,” or maybe it was the show of power and cruelty that made the part of me that was more dog than man wanna get on all fours for him. But whatever it was, I blamed it. I blamed it for the situation I was in right now.

See, where I was now, was in the arms of said puppet fucker, as he hauled my broken and bleeding ass through the forest. At some point, I had fallen unconscious, and Kankuro -the dumb ass he secretly was- had proceeded to travel at breakneck speed in the opposite direction or the village hidden in the leaves.

I woke up cradled like a baby in his arms, a baby whose mother wanted to strangle it. My neck was pressing up against his shoulders, and the resulting lack of air circulation and the confused panic of waking up being carried away by an almost complete stranger had me stuggling in his arms. Gasping for air, I pushed away from him harshly, and in my confusion, I managed to elbow him in the gut; ‘him’ being an assailant here to kidnap me in the night before torturing me in his basement and or dungeon.

"Oi, stop that! If you want to bleed out, that's fine by me, but at least spare my bandages before you dirty them with your mutt blood!" dull recognition thrummed in the back of my skull; I was with Kankuro of the Desert, and he had just saved my life.

There was also that. It wasn't like kankuro was a terrible person… but, he was a terrible person. The type who throws hands with a nine-year-old to flex - I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but after getting a taste of his mean streak, it wouldn't surprise me. As far as I could tell, he was more of a mean spirited guy, with a nice streak, than somebody who was occasionally out of line. And the way killing Sakon and Ukon seemed like just another opportunity to show his strength and blow off steam was mildly disturbing. Despite the truth that its probably for the best, I would be I touch more comfortable if there was just a sprig of remorse in this guy. After all, I was actively at his mercy, and I was pretty sure the only reason Shino hadn’t gently put me down for all the trouble I get us into was to save himself from the guilt of killing a comrade.

For the first time in a while, I looked around my surroundings, I had no clue where we were, I could faintly smell home to the east more than a days way of travel, and worse, if my nose was right - and course it was- rain was on the way, and soon.

"Some fucking shinobi you are!" I yelled into his ear, "you aren't even going the right direction!" I clutched his shirt as he wrenched me away from his ear.

"Maybe if my navigation didn't keep falling asleep, I would be able to get this over with." He snapped back.

"I'm not 'falling asleep,' " I said, mocking his voice, "I'm fucking dying! You know the thing you're supposed to NOT let happen-Ahn!" Kankuro suddenly was not supporting any of my weight, and I dropped to the tree branch he had perched on.

" Well, if you're not going to navigate me, maybe your little friend here can." He held the passed out Akamaru by just his scruff, shaking him a little as if to try and wake him. I audibly gasped; I hadn’t even realized I hadn't been holding him. I growled deep in the back of my throat, feeling the extra length come into my eye teeth.

"You put him down!" I was always quick to anger when it came to Akamaru.

"Oh, so now you’re awake. If all I had to do to keep you awake was to dangle your puppy by his neck-."

I didn’t hear the rest of it; Remember how I said there was a part of me who wanted this guy? Yea, well, that part of me is now dead. I lunged at him full strength plunging us both off the branch. Kankuro seamlessly threw me off, in the process opening up my wounds and pitching Akamaru into a free fall.

"Akamaru!" I said, lunging off the branch after him.

There was no sound or warning, just the sudden stop of our descents. Before I had even reached Akamaru, Kankuro was hanging by his feet from the bottom of the branch. I then dangled from my foot and shoulder, and Akamaru by the middle, and scuff. I looked down. It was not a 15-foot drop.

"Holy shit," I said after a moment.

"Hold still, very, still. I'm not great at controlling things that weren’t made to be puppeted.” I looked up to see him straining to hold us up by what could only be chakra strings, his fingers tensed and curled.

"Uh, okay…" I said, the fire I had in my belly being instantly stifled by the height and delicacy by which I was now suspended. My heart dropped up into my throat by gravity, and that cursed fear as I watched Kankuro slowly begin to take control of the situation, and my body. I felt kankuro tugging on the strings; just a twitch pulled through me, so minuit that I couldn’t even see it in his fingers. And it felt so intimately wrong. My heart continued to rocket against my ears as I experienced him fiddling with my body a couple of hundred feet in the air. I watched as he angrily clicked his tongue at his chakra. His painted lips curled in a sneer as if he was having a genuine altercation against his chakra; like his chakra was the Hokage’s grandson. He shot me an icy glare, and then I felt him pour out far more massive amounts of chakra.

"Hold still." He said again, as he began to pull and tug at his chakra, then in daring, he swung me with it. It started as more of a sway than anything, but building momentum behind each push had me feeling like I was on the world's worst swing set. And just as I began to let out the smallest whimper, the string dissolved. I felt all the influence he had gained over me dissipate, as my whimper grew into a shrill cry. And then he was there, grabbing me up in mid-air and landing horizontally standing on the nearest tree. As I _totally_ did not cling to his front, he cast his chakra to the now very awake and free-falling Akamaru. He was yanking the string to the side of the tree so my best friend wouldn’t smack into the thick trunk. Once Akamaru’s swaying had died down, he slowly reeled him up.

" Snatched," kankuro hissed out, a little out of breath. Before allowing Akamaru to reunite with me, he walked to the bottom of the tree, “don’t you ever pull that shit again, huh?” he said before depositing Akamaru into my waiting arms. Akamaru proceeded to lick the hell out of my face as Kankuro incessantly watched, and I forced myself to ignore the attention completely. After Akamaru was done with me, he -albeit a little bit timidly- licked at kankuro's hands and fingers. Kankuro sat down, regaining his breath while allowing Akamaru the pleasure of acknowledgment. I was at once thankful for both his eyes to bore into something other than me and upset that Akamaru only remembered the good things about kankuro. When Kankuro didn't seem to mind a little bit of the puppy love, going even so far as to talk to Akamaru and pet him a little, Akamaru climbed up into his lap to try and get at his face. Betrayal poked at me as my best friend licked another man’s face, but not for long as it was then kankuro - the dick - broke little Akamaru's heart by growling and pushing him off his lap ultimately.

"Not the face, Dog Breath." he said sternly.

Akamaru scampered over to me, climbing back over to his rightful place on my lap and allowing for belly rubs. When I looked away again to thank Kankuro, I was silenced by the way Kankuro's eyes were still trained on me, just as intensely, if not more. I shifted around under his gaze, squirming a little and then hardened under it, peering back at him.

"What do you want?" I asked at a deadpan.

He scratched the side of his face, "how'd you keep it on." He paused and then looked away.

"What? What on?" I didn't know what I was missing, but kankuro's cheeks dusted pink, I checked to see if it was the lighting, but sure enough, he was blushing. It was something I didn't think I would ever see on the man, and worse of all, I couldn't figure out what in the hell he was talking about. My mind stretched to find possible answers to the rose dusting in front of me and found nothing obvious. Looking down at myself and Akamaru, I was starting to feel embarrassed like I was the annoying naive kid who laughed at adult jokes like he knew what they meant. Having mercy for once in his life - if only to spare himself of this now mildly awkward situation - kankuro opened his mouth again. 

"I mean…" and almost in a whisper as if it was a taboo secret: " Akamaru licks your face so much, how'd you keep your paint on?? Is it like a powder that you cement on, or like an oil-based paint? " I could only manage to stare blankly at him before busting out laughing. My cheeks turned red from laughing so hard as I clutched my gut, while Kankuro’s deepened from whatever embarrassment he was suffering. He turned away. Before I could even stifle myself from my laughter, I pulled him right back around; his face was still dusted that pearly rose color, and his eyes were downcast.

" So that's that kinda thing that gets a guy like you all meek and questioning!" Crawling into his personal space, I leaned up close to his ear, brushing the panel of his hood behind it, and whispered, " I'll let you in on a little secret…: it's a tattoo!"

" I KNEW it; there’s no way I could learn anything about face paint from a mutt like you!" He exclaimed loudly starting to laugh himself

" Oh, so that's what had you bothered; I guess you don't humble easy."

" No, I don't, I’ve never had to practice... Wait, What had you so red?!"

Feeling my ears heat a little again, I said, " I thought you wer...-"

"what? i cant hear you~"

" I said: I thought you were talking about my dick or something, I don't know."

Now it was his turn to laugh out loud at me.

"In what world could what I said to be applied to dick in this context?" 

Kankuro had an abrasive laugh when it was at you, but it felt good because I had never heard him utter anything other than a snide or underhanded chuckling.

"I don't know! That's why I was embarrassed… like, like you knew something I didn't but was supposed too." Kankuro held his gut, and I joined in until my wounds opened because it felt good. And, when you laughed with kakuro, you got a taste of all that snide confidence and boyish bullying within him. Like cough syrup with cherry coke: best of both worlds.

"You know, you're a weird guy."

" At least I don't fuck puppets," I said, eyeing him suspiciously.

" I don't 'fuck' puppets; we make love."

We laughed until awkward silence moved our feet. Kankuro started walking away, and I only realized he wanted me to follow once he expectedly turned back to me.

As we walked, I felt the forest grow cooler and cooler. The air had previously smelled like rain, but now the clouds had blotted out the sun, and the already shady terrain became uncomfortable within the hour. The darkness started to collect and curate itself in the shadows, slowly refining toward the darkest dark. Everything lost the early fall warm overtone and instead dropped into cool overtones as if viewed through stained glass. To make things worse, Kankuro had begun to set a punishing pace over earth, and I felt the way my body could no longer keep up. If it weren’t for my outstanding speed, I would be left behind already, but the kunai wound hurt at every moment, and it had been slowly oozing blood for far too long. I again also felt the cold, perhaps it was the blood loss, but my coat had seemingly done nothing against the light breeze, and as the first raindrops glanced across my face, I found myself shivering. Akamaru uncharistacally was quiet as he padded along, up until that moment, wherein he began to bark incessantly.

“I am fine, Akamaru,” I said under my puffed breaths and through gritted teeth.

Kankuro was now uncomfortably far ahead. Urging myself to keep going, I pushed harder. The faster I moved, the faster I would be home, and the warmer I would be. Eventually, the world had a noticeably lazy tilt to it. I felt as though It hadn't previously, but I couldn't honestly recall. Akamaru dashed up ahead to kankuro’s side instead of my lagging ass, and it hurt to be left behind. I moved faster, not wanting to lose the respect of my best friend. I could still be a leader. I could still protect him. Be worth his love and protection. ‘It wouldn’t be like this again,’ that's what I wanted to tell him, but I was too out of breath to have my words carry out past my throat. So I told myself, I promised this would be the last time it was up to Akamaru to protect me, to get hurt in my stead. And then, I tripped over a rock, and I didnt get back up.


	2. Wilderness Housewife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankuro becomes the world's most begrudgingly good housewife in the world's worst situation. Tsunade's "medication" is finally unveiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back, and with a slightly longer chapter too!  
> I am having a little bit too much fun and so yall have been blessed (as if yall really need this) with another chapter. I am really sorry for any mistakes, I only write at night when I am half dead, so bare with me. 
> 
> Anyways enjoy! :}

Looking back on it, I had made several grave mistakes; I had sent a bunch of Genien to do a Jounin's work. And then, when that was bound to fail, I sent more children into the line of fire with no medical ninja on the squad. What had I done? My thinking was that it would strengthen the broken bond between the two lands, whilst aiding and solving the problem with my own kiddos, however, as I looked down at the poultice in my hands I realized my mistake. This was not supposed to be here.

I scrubbed my hands over my face in frustration, feeling the urge to find the nearest casino as the weight of my decisions - more like mistakes - weighed down on my shoulders. Better I gamble away my money instead of my kid's lives. Looking over at the stacks of paperwork that acted like blinders to the outside world didn't help either. Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slow, I mulled over the worst-case scenario; Whatever I had sent with the sand siblings was not this poultice, and if my memory serves right, I had sent something far more potent, but in all the wrong ways. If I sent what I thought I did if anyone was too wounded it would hardly serve them any purpose, and of course If they did use it, there would consequence beyond my control. It could spiral out into another rift politically, and who knows where that could lead. That unknowable gamble was the worst possible scenario: the Village Hidden in the Leaves was still far too week to sustain another attack from the Village Hidden in the Sand. I resolved myself to check the inventory. It was the only sure way to discover what exactly I had let out of this place. Luckily, I was adamant about inventory, stocking, and medical records, and even more, luckily, it wasn't detailed by me. It was a 'do as I say, not as I do' type of policy because when it came down to it, I didn't have what it took to manage it myself.

I stared down the puck orange walls of the office as my guts twisted around. The walls were far from talking, and instead, they seemed to be closing in all around me as I thought about the possibility of losing another future Hokage to such stupid incompetence. The small mistakes were always the ones that got me; it didn't matter how good I was at my craft if I forgot all my supplies at home; a surgeon without a scalpel is just as useless as the rest. When would my luck run out like it had so many times before? Feeling nausea build in me I knew I needed to move, to walk, to work, and willpower my way out of this one. They had already been sent away with it, wrong or not, it had happened.

_

I was not a medic, I was a toxin specialist (in training but who cares), but they were two sides of the same coin, especially when it came to things that were based on medications. At first glance, medications were much more complex, but the more specific and specialized a poison was, the more complex it was. There was also the reality that medication was usually just regulated and refined poison. This is why as I looked at the "poultice" I had required from the best medical ninja in all the land, I knew it was not a poultice, which left me more than puzzled because how could I know better than the Hokage.

As we had been traveling, the mutt's mutt had started to bark incessantly and nip at me until I was about ready to strangle the thing. It turned out Kiba had passed out again at some point, and I had failed to notice, too caught up in keeping up the pace, and the rather sudden drip-drop of rain and temperature. 

When it first started and the air got that earthy scent, I felt as goosebumps traveled up my arm. I was at once very cold, and nervous which had me practically sprinting through the terrain. The leaves started to idly flinch as drop after drop began to hail from above. As the wind worked its way up, the trees began to shake as if terrified. And then there was Kiba, passed out and heaped messily over a clump of roots. 

Frustrated and tired and wet and so done, I gave him a soft kick and was surprised to see a mountain range appear down Akamaru's back as he snarled deeply at me. I sneered right back, showing all the teeth I could, just to fuck with the little guy. I was impressed with his dedication, as his tail dipped between his legs with an anxious wag, but he still stood his ground. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know what sort of gaslighting Kiba pulled on you to make you value his life above your own, but I guess its fine seeing as you pulled the same shit on him... don't worry I not gonna put him down, he's not in that bad of shape, even if he does have some behavioral issues." Akamaru tilted his head then, probably never had reason to hear the phrase. " A boy and his dog." I sighed out, more to the open-air then to Akamaru, but he took as his own and barked and yipped as he ran in circles around Kiba.

The rain was steady now and I fought the urge to scratch preemptively at my face paint, it wouldn't last long in this weather. And neither would I. I stooped to reclaim Kiba and realized he was cold. I didn't know much about saving people, but I knew letting them freeze to death wasn't in the manual. I dragged his ass through the woods until I found shelter in the form of a rock outcropping. It was far from perfect but it would have to be enough. It was just enough shelter to keep us dry, or to at least keep us from getting even wetter than we already had.

There was still the threat of the water slowly pooling in the dirt till we would be reduced to sleeping in the mud, but there were worse things. I watched as the water trickled down the seams of the rocks, the moss grew densely in these creases, like miniature forests. Some part of me was reminded of home in this little scenario of the moss. They were unlucky enough to grow on a rock of all things. Not a tree, or the earth beneath them, but the most unyielding climate possible in their situation. This was their monsoon season.

Returning my attention to the weather at hand, the next most pressing matter was the wind, the rock awning above us was only just enough for the rain, it would need much more before it could be considered a ‘shelter’ by any means other than desperate. Pulling the ninja wire that I seldom used free from my pouch, I attached a kunai knife to each end before braving the storm once more. It was safe to say I hated the water. As a child, I loved it as much as other children adored the snow, but as the harsh realities of actually living with water came to fruition, I began to be bitter about it. 

After one specifically terrible experience in the land of stones, I discovered the true discomforts standing in three inches of water could do to a man. My feet were destroyed after that, and so was my love of the miracle we of the desert bestowed rain. Now, as I lobbed my kunai over a big low hanging branch I was painfully aware of that memory and I would do almost anything to avoid a repeat. Using my ninja wire in like a garret, I fell limb after limb from the trees that lead to the village's name. Sticking the largest of them into the ground and leaning them against the face of the rock awning allowed for the most drafty of walls to be formed, and I was at once so exhausted that I nearly sat in the mud where I had discarded Kiba and the dog. 

Leaning Kiba against the rocks, I laid the remaining limbs down across the floor section, it might not completely protect us from the water, and it would certainly be very uncomfortable to sleep on, but at least we’d be out of the slick mud and mostly separated from everything Trench Foot related.

And finally, I begrudgingly turned to Kiba - I was tired, no exasperated by this man and his dog. Part of me wanted to fail the 'saving' detail of this mission just to spite and fight with his dog, but alas, you can't always get what you want. So, instead, I laid him back down on the ‘floor’, stirring his mutt as I did, and began the process of trying to fix him. And that's when I discovered the Hokage's poultice. I wasn’t sure, but as far as I could remember, a poultice was usually thick and sometimes even clumpy because it was used to pack into wounds. This was closer to an ointment than anything. I looked at the container… ‘Soul Salve’ ... Interesting. So it was a salve, not a poultice and even _it_ knew it. 

Frustrated, I rubbed my face, only to realize in mild horror that I'd just smeared most of my paint away, as my hands were now a streaky purple. The wind howled and I was homesick for the oppressively broad landscapes and crushing temperatures of my land. I was beginning to feel in over my head and a touch childish. I had no memories of the woman who birthed me, so I wished for the guidance of the closest thing I had had, my home in all her harshness; For familiarity and the lack of anxiety over stupid purple paint. With no one here to impress or to push against, I deflated and just sat there, defeated, if only for a moment. And then Kiba groaned in a fit in his sleep, and like that, all the childness I despised and yearned for left, and it became a mission again. I would work with what I had, I was a ninja; I could deal with anything, and so it will be. 

Pulling Kibas shoulders up, I pulled off his now soaking jacket and mesh undershirt. Taking advantage of his sleeping form, I took a deeper look into the wound, it seemed like maybe if I hadn’t allowed for him to push himself it would have been fine. It was deep, but a clean wound from a sharp blade, and it obviously missed all the vital organs and blood vessels. He wasn't extraordinarily muscular too, so it probably wouldn't affect his movement too badly. Although, the part of me that was overwhelmingly male and horny that I didn't want to acknowledge -and wouldn't- told me that Kiba was hot, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

I reminded myself: I would do the mission, and I would do it properly because if it hadn't been for me pushing him, he probably wouldn't be passed out. It was now my responsibility. Opening my water and reminding myself there was no need to ration as it was actively raining, I poured it over his open gut. Still, before I continued, I put my water outside for it to fill, grabbing Kiba as well. I dug through the rest of the items Tsunade had given to me. Pulling out an iodine wipe, I figured that would be the next most important step.

After that, I cracked open the ‘poultice’. It smelled strangely nostalgic, and I wondered at once if it was a common salve at home too. Sniffing it threatened to bring me back to childlike ideals, so I quickly closed it after gathering some onto my fingers. I flipped it over to the side with the instructions: “Apply one time only to open and bleeding wounds, do not wash out. Allow healing.” Seemed simple enough. Removing the iodine pad, I rubbed the Soul Salve over and in the wound. Kiba groaned in his sleep, and for a moment the pain on his face made me think he would wake up, but instead, he curled onto his side, finding my wrist with his hands and began to crush it. I waited till his death grip lessened before pulling away gently; it must have really been hurting to illicit such a grip while he was still fast asleep. I pulled free 2 four-inch strips of surgical tape from a roll, cut it with my nearest kunai, and went about squishing the wound together and using the tape to mend it. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do seeing as I had no way of stitching him back up and didn't really know how. And finally, I taped a gauze patch over the whole thing.

Feeling mildly accomplished, I rocked back onto my heels. Akamaru sniffed at the wound, snuffling around until I shooed him away. Kiba looked a little pale still, probably from stress and blood loss, but at least I had actually done something other than actively make him sicker. Although now he was half-naked in a storm that had me shaking and shivering, I couldn't help that. Akamaru then dutifully curled up against his side and whined lowly for Kiba's sake, doing what I wouldn't. This dog was starting to make me feel jealous, and as if sensing his companion's discomfort in his sleep, Kiba curled up tight in a ball around the small dog, cooing gently. Something awful clenched hard in my chest. I put Tsunade's equipment away and applied more of my face paint right over the streaky mess that was most likely now looking like a quarter-million yen abstract painting.

I could see the sun beginning to set through the branchy wall, and I wondered how I'd survive the night, one thing was for sure I was not made for this weather. It must have been 62° 's, and I was a shivering mess. As I checked in with my own situation, too cold to sleep the anxiety off, I realized I was fatigued from hauling a Kiba around, and I was sorely paying for it as I could hardly even manage to shiver to save my skin. My stomach grumbled, but I knew that after wasting almost a full day's travel, it would be best to save the rations for my desperate situations. 

There was another option I could do as far as shelter was concerned, although I hated it. I had only slept in the black ant once before. It was big enough to fit in, and at this point, I would do almost anything for more shelter, but it was also dangerous. The Black ant was the perfect opportunity for anyone to take me out, after all, I would be walking into a death trap. All it would really take is someone tinkering with the outside to possibly trigger any number of its functions, and with me sleeping inside, I wouldn’t be able to counteract anyone of those triggers. It would most likely be Kiba too in all reality. I could just see it now as the dumbass looked around for me until the bright idea that I could be inside of the usually concealed puppet dawned on him, and then boom! Dead. 

There was also the fact that I hadn’t yet gotten the opportunity to clean it after its last execution and those… things had been kinda gross. No, it was too much of a chance. 

Ready to spend my night in absolute discomfort, I pulled my hood down tightly over my head, as if it could go any farther, and tucked myself into an even tighter ball.

“Kan. Kuro.” Kiba Saïd, his eyes slit open. He wrapped a hand around my wrist and weakly pulled. “Cold.'' God, I was going to kill this guy. I hoped this salve turned out to be poison. He pulled again and when I remained stiff and unmoving he started this awful noise. It had to be the most pitiful thing I had heard; this long whine, like an estranged cry: a whimper and some primal part of me responded to it, like a magnet. It seemed so did his Akamaru, because he started a very similar sound. They whined in unison before his hand slipped away and he started to drift back into that deep sleep, the type that can reclaim you in an instance, and with him, the little heat he carried left too.

My wrist slowly returned to ice as Kiba held Akamaru's paw in his hand. Rubbing at it to bring back the heat, another shiver shook me to pieces, making my teeth hurt with the force of it.

"Well fuck, excuse me then." I crawled over him and slowly laid down to not wake him again, not like he would have any issues with it anyways. Still, I breathed shallow and my heart raced with the proximity. I had never had a 'good' or even 'okay' experience sleeping this close to another, and my heart hammered in my chest as I tried to settle in next to him. Weakly, I allowed my self to get close enough to feel the heat coming off his back but no closer. At least then this way I could lie down and not wake up full of kinks and cramps. Just as I was starting to unwind, Kiba rolled over and shoved himself into me and if he was trying to wear me like a second skin. Sleepy Kiba apparently had no physical boundaries because his nose - an ice-cold appendage- founds its way past my high collar and hood, and on to the warmth of my jaw. My clothes having proved themself useless to defend against him seemed stupid now… I kept them on because despite the fact that they were soggy, and clung to me in the worst ways, at least I could use them as a crutch. I was not about to be caught sleeping next to another man, shirtless. I could hardly sleep with myself shirtless! Even the thought was wrong. It was at this moment in which I realized I would just have to accept that I would have no dignity to carry out this mission, accept the sheer success of it, and even that was still shaky. Resolving myself, I pulled him closer and allowed the warmth to travel through us like electricity on conduit. I turned my hood around backward so it covered my face instead of hair and closed my eyes. Something told me it would still be a long night. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiba has a dream, Lee tries his best to be a good host.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that I have been spelling Kankurou's name wrong for like the last 2 chapters. I am so sorry, from now on it will be spelled correctly.  
> Also, I am aware this chapter took waaay longer to air, I got distracted with Avatar and working. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I had a really good time writing it :}

I saw roses growing from a bush made of chains of white gold. Petals were all around me pushed about by forces I couldn't quite sense. I didn't know how I knew that these lace-like chain stems were cast from white gold instead of platinum or silver, but it was a certainty I knew like breathing. I knew with the inhale that like the rose, the gold was coveted but it had its price, it was heavy and malleable, while the rose was ensnaring but sharp. Looking around, I realized that's all I could see. All around me these crimson flowers bloomed, both above and below it seemed. Perhaps I was floating or drifting even and with a curious stroke of confidence, I parted them and stepped forward, wondering both how far they would go, and in what medium I existed. I found that I was standing in a mirror of water, seemingly only surface deep; a lake with no depth. The world around me was so dark, I didn't know how I could see these flowers and the stark and convincing reflection they cast over the surface of the ripples lake.

Pushing through the brush again, I realized I was tangled in it. The thorns seemed to have embedded themselves into me and taken root there, like an offshoot; Skin met metal seamlessly. Trying to pull one out, I realized I couldn't. These chains were now a fundamental part of me; these chains anchored deeply into much more than mere bones. And I didnt know that there was anything deeper, what could possibly lay within me even deeper than bones. And if there was, what was it? The feeling of fear washed over me, but I was so detached from it that it never saturated or even struck me. It was like submerging a gloved hand in water; it pressed into every crease, and you could feel every ripple but the feeling was of no consequence.

Sniffing the air trying to reel in my senses, if only to ground myself, I realized that the roses smelt nothing of flowers. I was at once confused, they smelt like poison and wood, like the air after months of no rain, like someplace I could only imagine in fantasy and never in reality...and also. Like drowning. Water pooling in my sinuses, ripping down my throat. I was in this water like sinking sand. The Mirror Lake was now entering into its full tyranny, dethroning me in an instant, the images or roses distorting. I was sinking now, each breath pulled the water into me and the sting followed as the water dropped through my body. My lungs inflated against my will, rebelling and betraying me; the need to breathe flooding and overriding my own self. Water filled them and I woke up with a jolt.

When I woke up, that smell was all around me and I was at once smoothed and distorted. This smell had me suspended, floating, drifting.  _ It was a dream, it was a dream.  _ I turned to realize that I was still thoroughly stuck. Calming down for a moment I tried to understand what the hell was going on. I was in… well it wasn't a room, but close enough. I was still hurt, I couldn't see it; I couldn't move much, but I could feel it as my muscles strained and held themselves and taunt attention. I craned my head to look around only to find a silky substance at the side of my cheek. I realized dangerously it was Kankurou's head and hood. I froze up then, automatically, I didn't think I could unfreeze if I wanted too. That explained where Kankurou was. He had coiled around me, both his arms and legs wrapped fully around me with his head tucked under mine. Akamaru had squeezed in-between the two of us collecting heat from both ends. I forced a small breath and I realized that the smell was Kankurou. And something deep and primal started to stir within my bones. And it wanted him. It made the momentarily craving for his attention earlier seem like child's play. This part of me was dedicated to him more than my own self. This was foreign and scary. This intensity had always been inside of me but never had this part of me yearned and pleaded for someone, and never like it was now. I didn't understand; I didn't really want to want Kankurou, but now I felt the two halves of me collide.

And yet, even the most outer and exposed layers of me softened on his scent. It's not like I hadn't smelt him before, I just hadn't  _ smelt  _ him before. I had done the equivalent of an olfactory once over and left it at that. If I didn't see him in a couple of months, maybe even days, I may not even recognize it. But now I was in close and personal, inescapable, and I felt like I was drowning all over again. My body erupted with chills. I hesitantly sniffed again. Goosebumps crawled under my clothes  _ \- I wasn't wearing a shirt! _

That single realization was enough to jump-start my brain and body. I pushed off his back and went nowhere as I rudely remembered the pain I was now in and the arms (and legs) that wrapped around me like metal bands. Kankurou - rudely awoken Kankurou - reacted by momentarily squeezing the life out of me causing the image of Kankurou's preliminary match in the Chunin Exams to flash in the back of my mind, specifically the part where one of his puppet wives squeezed some poor dude until the only thing that could be heard was the sound of cracking bones filling the air. To be fair, the victim in that situation had originally attempted the same thing on him, but I hadn't!

Tapping frantically on his shoulder, Kankurou slowly released me. His hands realized and to my horror, his head was twisted around a full 180! I jumped back, realizing it really must have been the puppet! Panting, really not wanting to deal with the puppet in this lifetime - or the next - I was surprised to see Kankurou's face. Akamaru barked, only adding to my confusion.

"What's your problem?" Kankurou's face paint was, well, everywhere It wasn't supposed to be.

"I'm, is that you?" Thinking that he put the meer concept of bedhead to shame

"What kinda stupid ass question is that?"

" The kinda question I ask when you twist your head around and squeeze the life out of me within moments of waking up - _ and you also start smelling weird overnight!'  _ I said, crossing my arms defensively. Kankurou's face split into a grin that had me half expecting those cog-like teeth.

"You're a real idiot you know that?"

"How am I an idiot, your head wasn't facing me. It can't just turn 180 ya know, unless you're a puppet." I crossed my arms over my chest defensively.

"Or…" he said, " it was just my hood." He turned his hood backward "besides, how would I squeeze you with my arms and legs if my head was facing the other direction"

I sputtered for a second.

"Okay, look! if you were a puppet!- look, I was tired and freaked out. You try passing out and not being disoriented." I sighed

"Whatever, take your free pass. Just know you were the one who invited me." He stretched out languidly before patting the now open spot next to his side. "Come here for a minute and let me look at you… Your wound " he added after the mistrust in my eyes remained. I laid down in front of him and tried not to fidget as he looked around inside of his bag. Squirming slightly under the cool air and anticipation, I realized that this was probably why I was half-naked, and also why a large bandage rested on my gut. Relaxing a little, I reminded myself that Kankurou was at the moment a good guy, a dude, and had already seen me to this degree undressed, so there should be no anxiety over the vulnerability. And still, it remained. Feeling mildly guilty for putting Kankurou through the wringer, even if only in my head, I tried to relax and make this as painless as possible - for both of us. He turned back to me with gauze and surgical tape in one hand and a kunai in the other, instantly I fixed my gaze on the blade. He pulled several tabs of surgical tape loose and cut them with the kunai, sticking them ever so gently to my hip for future use. Then he went about removing the current patch.

I flinched as his ice-cold fingers pressed into my stomach. He looked sheepishly at me before slowly pulling the tape off. It hurt. The tape, despite Kankurou's best efforts, was pulling at my healing skin with a death grip. I winced and pulled air up through gritted teeth, Kankurou only smiled. The underside was saturated with dried blood and I was suddenly thankful Kankurou had treated me; It wasn't how much blood there was, as much as the fact that I hadn't even registered that I had been bleeding when I passed out. Kankurou looked at the gauze patch with mild interest before discarding it. At least he wasn't squeamish. Reaching the short way to outside, he pulled inside first his canteen, then my own, which I hadn't even realized had been missing. He poured a little over my stomach with no more warning than an upwards glance, smiling when I hissed in a big breath.

"Cold huh?" He laughed abrasively “Rain Water.”

"Yea, but not as cold as you. A little warning would be nice!" I said blowing out the air at him.

" Hmmm. But then where would all my fun be. Surely I deserve to have fun seeing that I am slaving away for you."

When I just glared at him he continued to see to me. Putting a new gauze pad over the wound, seeing as the wound in of itself seemed fine -not that I could see it myself from this angle- he pulled the pre-cut strips free and put them to work on holding the new gauze down. 

"There." He said, patting my tummy a little too hard "Now, let's get you home. Okay?" He extended his hand and pulled me up to my feet.

We packed quickly, not even breaking down our "camp", just regathering our own personal belongings. I cared for Akamaru, offering him some of my food seeing as his had run out, and Kankurou hadn't brought enough for him too. It left me down on food but it was worth it to see him cared for. Plus seeing him gorge himself on human food melted my heart like chocolate.

Kankurou disappeared for about half an hour telling me to sit tight, and when he came back his makeup had been refreshed. I was curious to know if all that time was just to do his face paint, or if he had also been working on other things, but I didn't ask. It was something I figured I would learn about little by little if I hung around. Plus, for some reason I couldn't quite put together, Kankurou applied the garish paint as a catholic prayed. Kankurou went through everything once more, a recap more or less, as I watched him. He looked over to me when he realized one of the lunches was missing.

"Akamaru was hungry, so I fed him what I assumed you brought for me," I said.

"Here," he pulled out the other boxed lunch and handed it to me. I took it with question but no resistance.

"The less I have to carry, the faster I will reach the village. I don't need it anyways" I ate his lunch gratefully if not a little weirded out by the appearance of his nice streak. Some of the food choices I didn't recognize, but it was all good enough to eat (specifically a bright burgundy colored fruit ). Thanking him, I put the empty container back in the bag and watched as Kankurou once again disappeared. This time I followed him out and was surprised to find him crawling up into what I was now calling the "Sakon destroyer".

"What have you been doing out here anyway." He jumped, hitting his head on the Sakon destroyer. He cussed at it, then himself, and finally me as a flying projectile launched from its head, scaring the soul out of a small squirrel.

"Cleaning the black ant; her last meal left all her guts dirty" he endearingly stroked up one of the puppets horns with one hand, while the other flicked the projectiles back at him with a chakra thread.

"And that just won't do, will it?" He said. And then in a deeper voice that was far from feminine "my poor guts, and to think they used to smell of cedar!" Getting chills in the worst way possible I decided to let him finish up here on his own.

When we finally did start back on the road, the skies had mostly cleared, the rain only drizzling. I was glad to know that in comparison to the days before, Kankurou seemed sluggish. Instead of the breakneck speed we were traveling at, we were now at a gentle lope, lazily traversing the ground whilst minding the little things like puddles and bushes. I was thankful as the pain in my gut was greatly reduced when compared to yesterday, however, it still hurt. 

When we were starting to near home Kankurou had me take up the helm to deal with the finer navigation. The trees all looked the same to an outsider, but I was now close enough to the areas and trails that I walked Akamaru on, that I was beginning to recognize the terrain. Plus, the smell of home was a memory that would never fade. I was something I could never detect whilst there, but the moment I left for a few weeks, I could hone onto it from almost anywhere. It was the deep primal part of me that remembered and it made me wonder if I could even learn to love another home, or if that depth within me would always crave my birthplace like a magnet. We couldn’t possibly be any further out than an hour, we were closing in on it fast, I recognized a rock/tree formation where Akamaru commonly liked to stop and look for lizards or relieve himself and felt my excitement skyrocketed.

I hadn't been letting the longing for home in, knowing that once I did, I would be at its mercy for the rest of the trip. But now, it was as if a fishing line pierced my gut and was now being violently reeled in. If I focused I could smell the other Inuzuka dogs and Akamaru sensed it too; he pulled ahead of the rest of us, tail flying and tongue-lulling. It was a relief to see him carefree once more, I hadn't even and noticed how much the stress had taken a toll on him, mostly because when he wasn't needed he curled up in a corner somewhere like he was trying to block it all out. It was like watching him realize that he was still a puppy all over again as he ran in zig-zags and barked excitedly.

"Kankurou, "I hollered over my shoulder, "we're almost there, look," I said as I pointed to the left of us, "that's the main road to the village!" This seemed to excite Kankurou, as he smiled and whooped loudly, it wasn’t quite Akamaru levels of pure unbridled joy but regardless it left the same happiness coiling around my heart.

"Oh thank FUCKING God! I'm about to be out of this bitch!" he picked up the pace until he was neck and neck with me instead of trailing behind me.

"If I had had to spend another night stuck in the rain, babysitting your ass, I was going to have to use the suicide tabs."

I rolled my eyes, but I suppose all rudeness and jokes aside, I knew where he was coming from. The guy was way further from home than I was, and of course, our homes were also very opposing. The whole wide-open desert with oppressive heat and no shade versus the tree cluttered humid and life buzzing climate I called home must have been leaving him high and dry in terms of comfort, - really the exact opposite!

"Nice to see how much we bonded during this little field trip," I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, here's the deal. I've decided the next time you need saving, you have to hike all the way to Sauna."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to make the 3-day trip out, while bleeding out and being chased by a Zombie Sakon."

"You sure as fucking will if you don't wanna die!"

We laughed then, even though some part of me was sort of wishing that I could spend some more time with him. I just wanted to understand him, or maybe I wanted him to understand me, or maybe I wanted him to know me. I wanted… something. In the last 2 days, something had been kindled between us, or maybe just me. He saved me… was it so strange to want to know him just a little bit. Even if I knew he was no good. To want to curl within his heat once more, and to commit his scent to memory … like I had my own home. I felt in some intricate but infallible way connected to him like I couldn't escape it even if I wanted to. He had protected me, and now he was pack, even though he didn't know it yet.

There was also the problem of the parallel feelings I felt between him and home, the reasons were surely different, but I felt attached to him nonetheless. Like wherever he led I would follow, and that was scary because it hadn't been even one whole year since the attack on the village, and not to mention, his and Shino’s nearly fatal encounter. I would have lost one of the best friends I have ever had if Shino’s father hadn't been there. And yet, I still wanted him to linger. I didn't  _ want  _ to want to know him, but everything that was me and out of my control demanded otherwise. And that was the scary part. And of course, there was also what nonsense my nose was telling me about this guy; It should be illegal for someone to smell as alluring and entrancing and demanding and all-out sexy as he was. Fuck this dude, and fuck the part of me that was loyal and protective over him all because he saved me once -and had a good time with it. Stupid dog blood. 

Needless to say, when I saw the gate guards I nearly started crying from Joy, that and the new topic that saved me from my previous train of thought. Thank God this nightmare was over.

\--

Some part of me was so proud to see Gaara again, even if I was pitiful compared to the last time I had seen him. And I had been pitiful then too, after all, he had almost managed to kill me, yet here I was. He had protected me this time, and although shame filled me for being useless, pride for his growth-filled me too. At the monument, as we were two youths on a shared goal, his victory was also something to celebrate! He seemed very docile and compliant compared to when I had last encountered him, one might even say in control, and I wanted again at once to face him once more. It was clear to me that Gaara’s defense was more than just a physical one, it was mental too. He was closed off and blocked off in pretty much every possible way, however, a challenge is still a challenge! The idea of infiltrating Gaara’s emotional guard was appealing, I wanted to see him without any of those many layers of armor, of course, only if Gaara was also down for the challenge. I wanted to spur on this growth and also discover parts of him for my own benefit.

I wanted nothing more than to sit down and pick his brain to see our own separate youthful experiences, however, as Garra settled down into my place, he seemed cold and impenetrable as ever. And despite my best attempts to spur the fire of youth, he remained closed to all my attempts.

We had first ended up trekking through the woods with Gaara’s sand over us like an umbrella; however, when we reached home, we came to realize that Kankurou, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Temari had not returned yet. Sensing my opportunity I seized Gaara when the topic of housing him until their return came up. However, I did not imagine the challenge to be truly so steep. I had done all the hard work a host could manage, offering tea, bath, bedding, and other simple commodities as well as conversation and space, but his hard exterior simply would not give and would not crack. He did not smile when I expected him to, and most of the time he didn't even talk when I thought he would. The challenge was not nearly as straightforward as I imagined, I simply could not just check off all the criteria. There was no set task to be accomplished and I was at loss. This was yet another thing that would require hard work and dedication.

Deciding to leave Gaara to his own devices for a little and to clear my head I decided it would be best to work on my taijutsu, even if for only a little. I was still sore from my battle but I could run some laps and break with some light drills. Excusing myself from the house, I started around the block. It was Sensei’s home, but ever since I had made genin and he discovered I lived alone with no parents of my own, we had been living together. After the party he threw for us, he told me to spend the night, and that was the last of it. Slowly, I just started moving all my things here. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. It helped in this case too, because the only way I was able to score Gaara here instead of under a high surveillance units guard, was with the promise that he’d be under the supervision of not only the worlds best taijutsu master, but also be with highly skilled jounin, and in extension, also be able to have a good influence. The Hokage was yielding when I presented to her my stance that If I myself should not hold a grudge, no one should for his wrongs against me. She also couldn’t resist the ideal that youth are the future, and with good nurturing, anyone can make it! Wherever that maybe, with support and hard work, there is hope and good fortune to come. And of course, I'm sure my devilishly good looks also swayed her to my side. With enough effort, even the Hokage can swoon! 

Running around the outskirts of the Uchiha’s pond, I recalled the whole reason Gaara had been brought back into this village, to support us in bringing back Sasuke, and even then, the mission was a failure. I would need to train harder than ever now.

When I reached home again, I found Gaara in the exact place I left him, the dining room kneeling on a cushion. His eyes were closed, but I knew instinctively he was not sleeping. I moved to fully enter the room and the quark to his gourd popped out. I decided that that, combined with the lurching in my gut meant that it was a warning sign. I left the room and Gaara for the back yard where I could practice drills.

My heart was beating hard before I even got there, but it wasn’t from the excitement. I was still afraid of Gaara, I knew it wouldn’t go away right away, even if I dedicated myself to becoming better. Even if he would take it all back if he could. It would take more than just hard work, it would take trust.


	4. Red Fang, Purple Fang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snail hunting is apparently the only motivator for Shikamaru.  
> Gaara is only trying to help and needs to communicate.  
> Kankurou is a big baby who must be clean, fed, and put down to nap.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh look, finally a new update. Sorry, this one took so long. The sad thing is: I have had this chapter, and the next, written for over a week and a half and have been just procrastinating the editing. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy it. One of the reasons it was so hard for me to edit is because it is much longer than the other chapters, so, sorry about the sudden length, but it was just so fun to work on.
> 
> It's very indulgent and fluffy cause it was my birthday and I wanted to enjoy myself, so I hope you all appreciate it as I did.
> 
> Also, I just wanted to say, that I think I will probably end up revising this fic at some point if I continue to write it. I originally just wanted to post it as a short drabble because the content count was so pitiful, but now I think I want it as more official work. What I'm saying is that the fic is subject to be edited and such and ya'll reading it right now are pretty much beta readers! I won't make any huge changes or anything, ill just make it more of a full and saturated story probs. Anyways that's not actually relevant seeing as that won't be happing for quite some time.
> 
> Anyways enjoy, :)!

I could not believe how slow one person could move without losing his sense of self. Shikamaru could move at the pace of a snail, and be completely content with his consequences. A one day trip had been made into at least a two-day trip, and I was beginning to lose patience. At one point he even stopped to legitimately smell the roses, well they weren't roses, but close enough. This had led to his even more concerning activity, which was lounging around whilst I broke down camp, packed _ both _ mine  _ and _ his bags, and checked off other misc. activities that needed to be done before we could set out. I could hardly accept this sort of thing from Kankurou, who was either a total spearhead or an absolute lump to work with, so there was absolutely no way I was about to yield to him!

“S’are you ever going to get up and help, or are you just going to lay around till the next day rolls around.” I huffed out at him, putting my hands on my hips the same way I did with Kankurou when he was being unyielding and unreasonable.

“I’m just biding my time and letting a woman do what a woman can do. It is not like you’re  _ not  _ going to do it if I don’t help.” he closed his eyes as if there was not a day in his life he was anxious for.

“You wanna run that past me one more time!” He just sighed. I thought that was the signal he was going to begrudgingly get up and help, but instead, it signaled that he was simply re-relaxing.

“You know what? Fine!” If force wouldn’t work, I would wait him out. This wasn’t my style, but no use kicking a dead horse. “I’m sure Gaara and that Lee kid will be fine,” I said, smirking, adding a little pressure. “So what could you be looking at." I laid down alongside him, determined to show him just how stubborn I could be.

“The clouds. See that one, it looks like a snail crossing a road,” he said, paying no mind to my Gaara comment, or anything other than that white nothingness above.

"I don't see it." I decided after a moment, suddenly pulled in by the lack of my ability. Shikamaru leaned into my perspective for a moment, grabbing my hand and lining it up for me.

"See? Those are the antenna, and that's the foot."

"Snails have antennae??"

"Well duh, all though, I think they're technically called 'eye stalks', but that's a lot of words, kind of a drag."

I tried to picture a snail in my head, I'd heard of them before, but I couldn't remember anything defining about them except that they were slimy.

"So, what is a snail anyway." I tried asking casually. Shikamaru stopped his cloud gazing to peer at me instead.

"Are you for real right now?"

I looked away from him, twiddling my fingers and feeling my cheeks heat. He sat up finally from his reclined position.

"All right drag or not, we have got to find you a snail." I looked over at him.

"Really, this is what motivates you? A snail?"

Shikamaru smiled before grabbing the nearest stick.

"So, first of all, snails are awesome. They're super cute and slow and just eat all day." He was drawing a spiral in the dirt with the stick found. "Plus. They have cool antennas, and if you poke them, they disappear into their heads."

"Wait what?!" He was drawing a blob underneath the spiral, and when he added two straight lines, I realized it must be the snail.

"Yes, they're pretty cool, And this is what they look like. See? Just like the cloud."

I looked up at the sky to see the snail… comparing it to the dirt picture, the only remotely similar thing was the eyestalks. The rest just looked like fake sky cotton to me. I looked back to him, but before I could open my mouth, he hurriedly shushed me.

"Imagination Doll, imagination. But, because I can already tell yours is lacking, let's go snail hunting." He hauled himself up and extended his hand out to me.

"The only thing that I have seen today that looks like a snail is that," I said flicking the Leaf headband he kept fastened to his arm after he hauled me up.

"Hey, you're actually kinda right, maybe you do have some imagination."

That was the beginning of a very long and arduous journey that I would be sure to leave out of the mission debriefing if asked why the mission needed to be extended. It turned out that snails were amphibious - which makes sense seeing as they are slimy- and thus like cool, moist, and dark places. Shikamaru knew a lot about snails for one reason or another and was content to blab on and on about them, how to find them, and snail shell painting. He had me ankle deep in lush grass, peering under rocks and along mossy above-ground root systems and all for this damn thing. Once I finally found one I was glad to be on my way, but there was just one problem… it seemed to be missing its shell, it was just the blob and eyestalks.

“Eh, what about this one.“ I pointed out the large blah colored blob leaving behind thick and unsightly slime.

“Sorry, that’s the wrong guy. That my friend is an imposture, a slug.”

Really, after all this hard work I found a slug, what luck. Besides the shell, they seemed identical, even if I only had a cloud, doodle, and a lazy ass for reference.

“This is the same animal just shells, does it even matter!? Look at how dirty the underside of my nails has become.” I thrust out my hands for him to weep over, I know shinobi should not care about such things, but they also shouldn’t be looking for snails, so damn the rules!

“They look and act the same, but a slug is not a snail and it cannot be trusted.”

Shikamaru was drawing a hard stance, over a snail. I sighed, unable to continue to hold it in. This whole place was messed up. From the people and their priorities to the landscape with plenty of cloud cover and damp dirt clumping to the soles of your feet, it was all backward and confusing. Where was the drive for simple necessity? The hunger and fear that isolated the people from humanity, and brought them to the ideals of utility. Where sand and burning rocks were at home, here there was green grass coated in shade. I found it disgusting. And yet, here I was partaking from it, rolling in the mud and loving every second of it. It was cool as it pressed past my tough skin and into my core, loosening the tension brought on from years of being the family ace spurred on by the fear of being hated and lonely like Gaara, or discarded by father to be anything other than a plaything for Gaara when he tantrumed. No, I was his princess, sassy and untouchable, till I was under his thumb, then I turned into docile clay for his shaping. I was bitter. I couldn’t have had this strange and lax freedom. This place was everything I was not curated to be. He was every I wasn’t, rolled into one lazy, snail loving, d-bag.

“Why’d you like snails so much anyway,” I asked as I walked to the nearest rock. I looked both on the still rain damp top, and underneath where another imposture slowly trailed, leaving that viscous trail behind. Not so slick now slug, huh? Some cruel part of me wanted to step on it if only to feel just how squishy it really was, but I refrained, knowing I would feel bad right after.

“Hmm, I don't know. I just feel like they live the ideal life; they carry their beds around with them and just eat whatever they come across…” his voice became wistful and longing and I couldn't help but deadpan at him… he was envious of a snail. Wow. “Plus they’re kinda cute, and I feel, maybe if I do good in this life, the next I might live the easy snail life.”

“So what I'm hearing is,” I felt goop under the pads of my fingers and followed the trail over to some nearby roots, parting some over azaleas ferns along the way. “ you wanna be … reincarnated as a snail. As one of these little guys?” I held up my prize, mostly too puzzled to feel accomplished. Shikamaru looked over at me and this big grin overtook his face. His eyes wrinkled with crows feet at the corners, and he rushed over grabbing my hand to inspect the snail. I held my breath baited as he peered at the creature leaving its disgusting goop all over me. He almost reverently reached out and poked one of its eyestalks, and like magic, the eyestalk practically melted into its blobby little head. We laughed then, Shikamaru suddenly giddy, and I felt my heart trying to burst an artery. It flipped, and it flopped and pounded; nearly popped. And I was glad my stupid kid brothers weren’t there to see it; Kankukou would never let it go.

Shikamaru seized the snail from me, cut a piece of cloth off his jacket, and poured his water over it before wrapping his jacket around the snail.

“She has to be kept damp at all times; feed her things high in water. She’ll love cucumbers and lettuce, maybe cactus? Also, try not to handle her without lots of water or gloves, your skin will burn hers. Make sure she is cool and damp, and finally, what will you name her?”

I was suffering from information overload and having a snail thrust into my hands, gently swaddled in wet Shikamaru jacket pieces, and frankly, I was a little confused.

“You! You want me to keep it? Where am I supposed to keep it.” I sputtered for a moment. “ _ How _ am I supposed to keep it? Cool, I live in the desert? What am I supposed to keep it in?”

“You’ll figure it out. As much as I hate to admit it, you're actually pretty smart for a girl, so I’m sure you’ll make it work.”

This sexist piece of shit! I was about to throw the snail back at him, but then the image of those eyestalks receding quickly out of poking range came to my mind. I looked down at the little blob, he had an exquisite shell, all grey and brown with white speckles. The poor little snail didn’t deserve to be thrown. And fuck, if my cursed and spiteful maternal instincts didn’t kick in just then, the snail would be jam on my morning toast.

“Yes, you're right. I am quite smart, and I can assure you  _ he  _ will be just fine in my expert care.” I said turning my nose up and knowingly playing into his hand because I had found this little guy and I was challenged to keep him. Shikamaru smiled, as I had fallen into his blatant trap, but dammit, the snail was mine now,

“He shall be named ‘Sss jr.’!”

“Sss??” he looked at me for further explanation

“No! That’s : S.S.S. Jr. to you! ‘Sss” for short. Shikamaru’s Slimy Snail Junior!” I exclaimed, holding S.S.S’s swaddle up in the air.

“Wow. Actually, you're secretly a dumbass huh?”

“I am not!”

“Oh, and snails are hermaphrodites.”

\--

The short round of drills I had meant to do had spiraled out of control. I simply could not help myself, and without Gai sensei here to manage me, and Gaara inside, I was deterred from quitting. The cool drown drill had become an unstoppable and frenzied past time. Dripping sweat and pouring the soul out through pure effort always cleared my mind, but today, each strike just brought me closer to the brink of fatigue. It was obvious, even to me, that I was overdoing it, however, every time I thought about returning inside, I got that spike! I had not felt such nerves since the days leading up to my decision to operate on my injuries, and unfortunately, I was becoming acquainted with the feeling of my body -my coping mechanism- failing me before I could work out anything. I yelled as I stuck the practice dummy full force. The yelling was partially a habit, but I was also in pain and allowing raw emotion to come through with every strike. It was cathartic to let loose, but I was adding days onto my recovery. I was neither healed completely from my injuries from Gaara nor from the strain of fighting Kimimaro and as youthful as my body and mind were, I could feel their spring going dry.

My arm had started bleeding through the bandages I always had wrapped there, just as it had with Kimimaro. My leg was mostly white noise or static, but in several places there was feeling but only pain remained. Every strike I sent into the practice dummy shook it with such force it made me think about what that force was doing to me. Crying out more in pain than ferocity with my next strike, I knew the one following it would be the last I could manage, but it never made contact.

Sand soft as a pillow, aspirated and giving, coated me from my knuckles to my shoulder in an instant. Flailing backward from surprise, I tripped as the texture of the ground changed abruptly from the packed dirt I and Gai's training had molded to sluggish and heavy sand. Falling back onto it, I tried immediately to push away, but my hands and feet simply sunk into it. I tried to pull away, and also not to panic, as the ground became frighteningly hard, trapping my hands and feet within its now rock hard surface and immobilizing me. I don't know how I missed the ‘shhh’ sound that followed the sand everywhere it went, but it was all around me, scattered through the grass and concentrated right behind me. That spike pierced me up through my gut with the need to move, to run, to fight and I couldn’t contain it. It manifested in struggling blindly and working up a shake. Gaara was now approaching and I felt all that anxiety well up and out of me as I was trapped and defenseless. 

The last time I had been this defenseless in front of him, it nearly cost my life! Simply fighting him had almost cost my life, seeing as it had left my own body so damaged, I could not even run away as he decided it would be a good idea to try to crush me. I was stuck in the ground, too exhausted to break it and there was no one else around, and even when I had been in proper shape, I had not been enough to best him and-

“Stay back!” I shouted at him, all that anxiety breaking down the floodgates. I was not standoffish, nor a coward! But at that moment I couldn’t bear to have him level that gazes on me. He couldn’t be any closer than he already was, because he was already too close.and he might break me again. And he did. Because sudden Suddenly he looked like a deer in the headlights, like  _ he _ had been caught in the crosshairs like I had caught him red-handed and it scared him. I couldn’t keep up with the whiplash I was induced on my self. More than anything I wanted to befriend him and spar with him, but for that, he needed to be close and that was more than I could take at the moment. The sand around me quivered and shook itself apart till it was no longer that impenetrable wall, but just sand. Sand at the beach, sand in the desert; just sand, like what you find in the playground. Pulling myself out of it quickly and staring him down I felt a little safer; I could breathe at least, even if I knew that if he wanted to play with me, he would. I was standing in a pit of his sand, absolutely whipped, with a bad leg. Not to mention, he could always just make more. But he didn’t look like he had any bad intentions, now he looked down at his feet like a scalded kid. Like he really had been only playing, I relaxed a little then, as the realization that he was just misguided youth washed over me. I breathed in and out trying to resettle all that nervous energy I had apparently had NOT sweat out. Where had my resolve gone? How was I supposed to remind him of the pure joy that life can offer when you work. How his life and others are precious. I lowered my arms opening my posture, which had been taunt and ready to fight. I relaxed my leg, leaning to my left because though I could no longer feel due to the numbness, I was sure it was hurting by now. 

I hadn’t ever been anxious before my encounter with Gaara. I mean, of course, I had, but nothing substantial. I had no parents to coddle me when I was nervous, so I grew resolve and ambition through such things. And of course, when I met Gai he inspired me to continue that trend. There was nothing I couldn't do; and then I couldn't even stand. I couldn’t even run away from him. And I couldn't understand; I had done the hard work, I had the resolve, but I couldn't understand him. I didn’t need anything but to work on that, to sink effort into understanding him. So that I could breathe again. And of course, so that I could properly tell Gaara how he had redefined me, rekindled me. And that I was grateful. And proud.

Slowly, he started to approach me, watching to see if I would receive him. I steeled myself, which probably was just making me lock up and look like I was about to pass out due to fear. But I wasn’t, because now, at some point the fear and anxiety had swung too far the other way, and I was excited. I was excited because he had stopped, he had been just a little bit considerate and that was the first light of humanity I had seen from him that wasn’t during the mission when the heart could not run free and unbridled, but was instead shackled with the motives of our forefathers. It nearly brought a tear to my eye.

Once he was within 4 feet of me, he slowed down, those black lined eyes trying to figure out what I wasn’t saying. He came closer holding out his hand. I regarded it with a question.

“... I only meant, to stop it. You're bleeding again.” he rasped out. Some part of me always had a difficult time with his voice. My head profiled him to have a high and pure to voice suit his small stature and its light use, but instead, he had this voice that was deeper than my own crammed into that little body. It sounded like he lived in the desert I supposed; I could guess he also drank the sand based on the not quite gravelly but far from the smooth texture of his voice.

It was then I realized he was asking for my hand. I obediently put it in his and was startled by how purely soft and small they were. In fact, he was kinda small. He pulled on me gently, guiding me out of the sandpit he had created. As soon as I was out he returned the ground there to the pressed, (now very pressed) dirt that had been there. It left an almost perfect circle of light-colored dirt with absolutely zero grass, pebbles, or anything else of the sort I thought it was actually kinda nice. Like a spot that said ‘stand here’ when practicing. The rest of the sand was just on the surface and it slowly slinked back to its master. 

I thought the sound was very similar to a very small rain stick. Which had me quietly chuckling as I loosely followed Gaara back inside. He looked over his shoulder interested by my change in attitude. He didn't say anything but I knew he was curious about what had me giggling.

“Your sand. It sounds like a rain stick! Or even the sound that it makes when it's misting heavily over asphalt.”

“Mist?”

“Yes! When it is not quite droplets, but instead just heavy mist!”

“It doesn’t mist in Suna .”

We walked in silence back to the house, entering through the back door and making ourselves comfortable on the living space couch, or at least we tried too. Gaara sat mostly relaxed but tightly in the corner of the couch, which left me to awkwardly try and pretend that I was comfortable. I sat on the other side of the couch fidgeting with the wraps on my arms, they were now blood-stained and torn up pretty bad, but I needed something physical to do. I was not one to pretend or to be dishonest, and more than anything I wanted to express my thoughts to him. Instead, I stood up leaving the kitchen.

"Could you eat? I was thinking of making something fresh, like a smoothie, to get the blood flowing!"

Gaara looked up at me then, his interest peaked. He stood from the couch and sidled over to me curiously.

"Do you have any preferred flavors or fruits?"

He looked down and shifted his weight.

"Jicama. And cactus fruits."

I had no idea what either of those was, and I was almost certain I would not be able to find them in the nearby market.

"Uh… I don't have any of those but maybe we have something similar! I will do my best to try and overcome this challenge."

He just looked at me quizzically. Going to the fridge, I pulled every bit of fruit I could find out, hoping Gai wouldn't mind me decimating the fruit stocks. We had strawberries and bananas, we didn't have mangos but we did have a half a pineapple. Gai lived for tropicals and had drilled the health benefits into my core, but he especially loved pineapples. 

When I had first started spending my time here with him, I had told him I wasn't a fan of them. They were so flavored that they were shocking to eat, and by the time you could acclimate, they started that awful burning in the mouth. They were of course also very hard to properly cut. However! Gai enlightened me:

‘lee, you must remember to take opportunities as they come. The pineapple, like so many other things, is a gift in disguise! So, do not let the spikes deter you from the perfect core!" The flavor was ideal for the early morning jumpstart, the tangy and painful feeling was a practice in resolve, and of course the more you work to cut the beast, the better the sweet juicy payout would be. Also, they were kinda green and yellow, which Gai believed to be the best colors.

"So what does jicama taste like?"

"It's a root that is watery like a fruit on the inside. It's sweet and crunchy. Like this kinda." He grabbed a potato that I had booted from the fridge. 

"So like a sweet potato but white?"

He creased his eyebrows and pursed his lips a touch.

"I don't know."

I pulled out a small rice bowl filling it with a little of everything, cutting a little chuck off the pineapple. 

He went for a blueberry first, there was almost no reaction. Then a slice of banana, this was more satisfying, his eyes got a little big and I could hear the sound of it getting stuck to the roof of his mouth. The whole thing reminded me of the big brown fruit bats that would much on bananas if offered while smacking their cute bat muzzles. I felt myself beam at him. 

“Very sweet and mushy, this is probably the opposite of jicama."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sure the next one-"

"It's good, Temari would like it. She likes sweet things like this."

He tried the strawberry next. I had high hopes for this one. 

"It's fuzzy inside."

I nodded my head, waiting for further input, but It never came, so instead, I asked,

"Will you try the yellow one next?"

He picked it up, it was a much larger piece than the others seeing as I wanted to see his reaction to the stinging nettle like sensation. He took a bite and his eyes got big again. He gulped it down before going in for another bite. After he finished the chuck he got this mildly concerned look on his face.

"I really like it, but Is it supposed to hurt?"

I nodded my head eagerly.

"Just think of it as training, I know it can be unpleasant, but it has an invigorating flavor."

"...hurts."

Just then the door opened and slammed shut.

“LEE!” the slightest pause, “I have returned alive from yet another trying mission!” I ran to the front door tackling Gai in a bear hug. He hugged me back, and I felt all the tension in me pour off my shoulders as I brought my legs up to wrap around his torso. He ruffled my perfect hair and waddled with me still attached to him into the living room.

“And we have company” I heard him chuckle “More youth for the molding!”

He was saying things about showering and sitting down to talk with everyone after, and I didn’t really listen because all the nerves and tension was gone so suddenly - stuff I didn't even realize I was still harboring - that I turned to jelly, and nothing but the way the top of my head fit into the palm of his hand seemed to matter anymore.

\--

Just looking at the village from the inside filled me with such a sense of relief that all the aches and pains, and unending hunger fled me as soon as the guards passed us through the gate. Every time I came here the same things stuck out to me: the faces of all the Hokages, the large swaths of skin people here left exposed to the sun and the sheer amount of live energy the people carried. There was no fear or spite here, that was not what fueled these people. They - to me- seemingly lived for nothing, there were no bums in the hollows of the buildings begging for water or clothes; the hierarchy was loose and vague. It was a little scary and overwhelming, and at once I felt like I was 'less than', like I had to have something to show by living the way I did. The way we did. And despite all this, all the life around me, it just didn't matter. The village steeped everything that aled me away. It was so far from what Suna was, but it was as close to home as I was going to get, and at this point, I would take anything over that claustrophobic forest. It might have not been my home, but It was somebodies, and that was Infinitely better than sleeping in the mud another night. Plus, the people here were so nice -uncomfortably so- that I bet it would be no problem bartering for food. Except it never got to that point because before I could start meandering wherever my nose took me, Kiba grabbed me by the wrist and took off, Akamaru leading the way. I was so done with this guy.

I passed several places that looked like they served food, including a ramen house that smelled like heaven, all while Kiba dragged me faster than I could move on my own at the moment. Pulling my hand free from his, I halted hard, " I'm hungry." I said looking over to the ramen house. Kiba got this bewildered look on his face like he had forgotten that I let him eat all of my food. He pleaded with his eyes, but I was beyond reasoning, I was getting food. It had been several days now, and if there was a quick way to get me railed up, it was to come between me and food. He sniffed the air again before looking sheepishly at me. I guess something in the air told him my thoughts on the matter cause he said " where we are going you won't need food." And then, "please." When I still didn't want to yield.

Scowling at him I grabbed his hand and started back in the direction he was headed. He quickly resumed the helm before dashing us along. People stopped to gawk and wonder after us, some sending me in specific suspicious glares, but I couldn't care enough to stop and stir them up because it turned out Kiba was actually really fast. Focusing all my intention on not eating shit at high speed on unfamiliar grounds, I almost didn't notice the change from business to residential. The buildings were changing from nice and official to quirky as we tore through everything from apartments to clan neighborhoods. Finally, Kiba slowed when he came to a grove of sorts, it was a wall of greenery, ivy clinging to every vertical surface with an ounce of grip. Reaching into the wall of vines he felt around until a mechanical click sounded, I tensed at the sound but relaxed as a gate swung open pulling ivy with it.

"Welcome to the Inuzuka house… it's kinda messy and unkempt, but there is plenty of space and there's food, free too cause you saved little Akamaru."

I didn't even have a chance to respond before several hounds, no wolves descended upon us. Three of them heeled to Kiba, but the largest didn't stop until he was nose to nose with me. I froze up, my first instinct was to either fight this dog or walk away, but something told me that even if these beasts looked very different than Akamaru, they were probably still with Kiba and thus were not to be tangoed with. Still, nervously I grabbed at the bandages holding the ‘Crow & co’ as Tamari called them, waiting for the wolf to show any signs he was about to go agro. 

"Kuromaru, easy. He's a friend. Come on Kankurou, introduce yourself."

Call me an idiot, but I had no idea how to actually greet a dog, we had very few in Suna, And the ones we did have, I had never met, or even seen. I looked panicky at Kiba. Kuromaru growled and his tail went up, bristling, which even I could figure was a bad thing. Kiba, praise him, then hurriedly came forward taking my hand in his again, pulling it down to the dog's face. I winced as the wolf, who appeared to be missing about half of his facial features, snuffled at my fingertips. He walked then into my space and I became acutely stiff and uncomfortable as he began circling and sniffing. Kiba absently stroked the back of my hand and if to calm me, but it only made me feel more like a rabbit. When he had circled to the puppets he barked, rattling my bones and I felt myself flinch, hard. Then, I felt the shame roll in as he held my hand tighter. 

" I know Kuromaru, thank you." Suddenly Kiba was pulling me away from the huge wolf happily. I stiffly walked away, the dogs all followed right along, but this time one hundred percent invested in Kiba, at least almost. 'Kuromaru' watched my every move with his one eye, but wagged his tail and licked at Kiba fingers as they walked.

" So, is this your first time meeting ninja dogs? He asked, releasing my hand.

"Well," I licked my lips anxiously "we don't really have too many dogs at Suna, so besides Akamaru, I haven't ever seen them up close." I left out the fact that Akamaru looked like the doggy equivalent of the kids that I used to pick on at school or manipulate Gaara into harming for shits and giggles. Compared to his friends, Akamaru looked like a runt. I looked at the dogs which were now dispersing, running across the green grass, biting each other's ears and scruffs all but Akamaru and Kuromaru.

"Wait you guys don't have dogs in Suna, not even ninja dogs?" Kiba said shocked

"No, it's too hot for anything like them, certainly not anything with fluff on it. I guess it's pretty obvious I'm not good with dogs."

" God, geese I didn't realize you guys had it so hard in Suna, I'm sorry man." He said, ignoring my self-deprecation

That brought my easiness back. I finally looked at the property I had entered. It was a smallish looking house painted warm tones in a grove of trees, plus whatever else grew in a place that wasn't the desert. Green grass stretched out across the lot and the dogs were free-roaming the grounds. It was about as far away from the image of home I held in the keep safe part of my brain.

"Woe is me! What life could be with a dog." He looked at me with what was obviously unbridled curiosity about the realities of the Suna life. "It's . . . It's different. There is, well none of these things. No grass, no dogs, nothing kept outside except for ceramic pots for water or things you don't care about, otherwise the sand and sun ruins it. You never see this many people out mid-day, life comes up at dusk and dawn." 

"And what about the night?"

At that I laughed at him, gaining eyes from 3 of the 4 dogs.

"Even less at night, it gets far too dark for starters, but more importantly, way too fucking cold. I'm talking 112 in the day and under 30 by night." He stopped walking then, mouth agape. Then laughed.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. How do you guys actually survive? How is that even possible? You're joking?"

"Nope, the second the sun goes down things change, fast. Temari is the 'Weather Girl' and could spend hours telling you about the importance of wind currents and valleys and clouds. But I don't care, now hurry up and feed me, I'm fucking starving; I'm about to become a cannibal."

He gawked at me. Before unlocking the door and b-lining for the kitchen/dining room, pulling out a seat at the table. It was a beautifully finished wood table with a rich dark and dense rim and detailing, and a center with something light in color. I thought it was maybe pine or birch but I couldn't tell. I had no clue about the dark wood, it was something I wouldn't ever really use for my puppets, as it would be too hard to maneuver. Whatever it was, It was very heavy and strong through and through. Curious, I knocked my knuckles against it and was immediately charmed by the way the wood doused the sound immediately. Maybe it was Doug fir or Cocobolo. I smelled it quickly, trying to figure out what it could be. Of course, not only did I only get a nose full of varnish, but I also found Kiba looking mildly creeped out after watching me smell his table of all things.

I turned my attention to anywhere but him or the table while he rummaged through the fridge. So instead I looked at the tall plant they had growing in the corner of the room and the pictures that hung above an unlit hearth. It seemed he was an only child, with two moms? No. I squinted hard at the photo, one of these women was far too young to be involved with a kid Kiba's age. So maybe a sister. I looked back at Kiba and eventually found some of their similarities. They all had those yankable teeth and pencil eyebrows, even if Kiba's were a little thicker due to the extra testosterone he had over the women. 

I continued to gaze at him as he told me that the bathroom was upstairs to the right, and his room was at the end of that hall. I realized that I liked his back and shoulders and the way that the line of his spine was engraved into him all the way down to his waistband, as shown by the mesh shirt he wore. I always wished I had a back like that, a good one with depth to my spine and dimples in the flesh above the ass. The upstairs was pretty much his, while the downstairs was ruled by the women of the house, being his sister and mom - I was right. He told me not to go into the downstairs back room cause that was his mom's, and Kuromaru might kill me if I enter her space, but my eyes were already going places that neither Kuromaru nor momma Inuzuka would appreciate. He continued, but I wasn't really listening, more focused on what he was going to feed me, and the way his ass filled out his pants as he bent to look in the crispers. Kiba straightened and looked back over his shoulder to me. I corrected my eyes and wondered how good Kiba's 6th Sense was.

"You like chicken and rice?" He asked.

"Yes please, just food, please" I groaned out, my stomach rumbling on que. Kiba wasn't terribly tall, but he was proportioned similarly, with all his height coming from his legs instead of his torso. He turned around with the now steaming bowl of chicken over rice, fresh out of the microwave, and set it down in front of me with chopsticks on the side.

It was the best food I had tasted in a long while, a nice hearty portion too. The chicken had a lemongrass sort of flavor to it and despite being pulled from the microwave it wasn’t dry or tasteless. In a moment Kiba sat with me with his own bowl. He gazed over the table as he sat and watched me eat, but I was too focused on the food to care or become self-conscious about the attention. We were in silence, but it was comfortable as we were both equally immersed in our food. Okay, well I was, Kiba was mildly interested at best, but who cares. It was so good to have food in me for the first time in almost three days, I ended up finishing before Kiba even got halfway through. I slid my bowl across the table before getting up and dumping it in the sink. Kiba eyed me realizing I had finished.

"Geeze you weren't joking."

"It was the first meal I've had since I found you. I would have eaten some plants or something, but I don't know what will kill me around here." I saw something click in Kiba's head, and then his jaw dropped a smidge.

"And then I ate your food. You fucking dumbass! Why'd you give it to me? You have a death wish." He snarled at me.

"Geeze, clam your tits, just ya know, the 'mission first' and all."

He slid his food over to my side of the table but I slid it right back. "I'm fine now. Eat." He pulled me over away from the sink, offering again. He looked determined; I didn't really get this sort of thing. I just told him I didn't do it for him, and here he is, doing it for me. Sneering at him, I grabbed at his chopsticks, taking the best looking of the chicken and a big clump of rice. I laughed at him through my teeth before swallowing hard.

"Happy?" I said, handing his chopsticks back over to him. He just smiled weakly. I grabbed my old pair of chopsticks and stood behind his chair, picking off his food. Me being directly in his blind spot seemed to only make him mildly uncomfortable, so I leaned down a bit to where my breath tickled the top of his head with the next bite I poached off him. Finally, he squirmed and shifted in his seat, if I was a nice guy, I'd leave him be, at least for his hospitality, but my need to tease him was insatiable. Now that the mission was done, I was allowed to have fun. I grabbed the back of his chair and pulled, tipping the chair back. He scrambled, first windmilling his arms, then shouting, and finally whining and clutching the seat of the chair with white knuckles. I laughed then, shaking his chair a little before letting it drop. He glared up at me through his lashes before getting up and collecting his dishes and depositing them to the sink.

Silence fell over the room and I sighed, leaning against the table. We still hadn't been debriefed by the Hokage and according to the guards at the main entrance, we wouldn't be till Temari returned. I expected her to be here before I and Gaara, after all, she was assigned to the only chunin, and she always managed to work efficiently, and yet she hadn't come back. Without closure to the mission, I didn't really know what to do with myself. 

I did need to check-in and debrief with Gaara if only to check on him. He had been given the most difficult of positions in the mission, and as far as I could tell, ended up returning with the same crazy dude he wrecked in the chunin exams. Plus, even if Gaara himself put me on edge sometimes, knowing where and how he was always settled me. I was unsure if It was an instinct gained from not wanting to be killed by him, or one kept over from being his big brother, but I liked him best where I could see him. Plus, after all this time, it seemed like we were nearly acquainted with the concept of family.

I watched Kiba dry his hands and I opened my mouth about needing to see Gaara, but instead, he told me about the bathroom whereabouts again.

"You go first, it'll be good to wash everything off." He started up the stairs pushing me along with him. I fought off my irritation because scrubbing up actually sounded really good right about now, and he had a point.

"Hot water is to the right, cold to the left, just pull the whole handle out to turn it on. Oh, And push the button to have the water come from up top instead of the faucet." He explained quickly losing me at the first instruction. In Suna, we had sponge baths, and … I had no clue how to work this thing.

" Um, can you just, show me… or something…" he was giving me this skeptical sort of look, maybe a little mistrustful. He sniffed the air before stuttering into action. He slid the glass door open and grabbed the knob mounted on the shower wall.

“See, you just yank it and it turns on.” Water gushed out through a spigot and I flinched back not expecting so much of it to tumble out. Kiba thankfully didn't notice pushing a button on the same wall, the water disappeared as fast as it went, and with the slightest gurgle of the pipes, it rained from above. I took a step back from uncertainty.

“You then just turn the knob to how hot-” he twisted the knob and I watched as the water began to steam “-or, how cold you want it. And then you just push the knob back in, and you're done.” 

“Okay and how long, 5 or 10 minutes.”

“ I don't care as long as there is water left for me.” Kiba said laughing. How am I supposed to know how much water is left?

“So, it's more like 5 minutes?” I said wanting a straight answer. He just stared at me for a second, his smile slowly dropping. He peered at me thinking, then he sighed.

“I get it… you can literally take a shower for as long as you want, there's plenty of water here, the only consequence is our water bill. So make it 15, treat yourself, or whatever. And here, let me take these.” He reached for me and I stepped back on impulse, so his hand waited patiently, before gabbing at the crow’s bandages.

“Careful!” I said, “he’s heavy-!”

Kiba was wrestled to the ground by the weight of the puppets. Ordinarily, in battle, I never sat him down without deploying him, so one of the straps acted like a quick release, while the other was actually used for handling and maneuvering The Crow. Kiba had grabbed the quick release.

“Fuck! How’d you carry this shit around all day.”

“I tried to warn you” I laughed at his sprawled form, crouching down to his level.

“What the hell even happened!” he gathered up his feet pulling the crow closer to him for support.

“You grabbed the quick release strap. And you didn't stop to consider how heavy it would be.”

“I didn't think it would be that heavy seeing as I've never seen you without it.”

“He grows on you.”

After watching Kiba struggle to maneuver the crow - he seemingly did not want his face to get too close to him, as if disgusted by the crow's luxurious head of hair- he left me in peace with the shower. I ran to get my face paint from downstairs and realized I didn't have a new set of clothes. I hadn’t been expecting to be here for long by any standard. I knocked on Kiba's door, yelling for clothes and he deposited a pile into my waiting arms, mumbling about how they may not fit but I would have to make do. I wasn't really listening, more interested in what I had been given, but I decided to wait to check it out till after the shower.

Once there, I pulled off my clothes layer by layer, happy to be rid of them and my own stink, and the dirt, and the mud, and the overall hell this single mission had put me through. I pulled off my hood last, placing it aside. I was suddenly conflicted over whether to wash it or continue wearing it. I could also wash it with me in the shower and then wear it. My hair was going to be wet anyway. Deciding on that, I pulled it off, pulling the neck guard off as well. Avoiding eye contact with myself or the rest of the mirror, I stepped into the shower and slowly turned on the water, pushed the button, and was jolted with icy water. Tensing hard under the water, I blew out a sharp breath and let it clear my mind. Kiba had said to take my time so I did my best, figuring I might and well use the water as it was here. Letting the cold water run over me for another minute trying to endure it. I let oppress any intrusive thoughts or feelings I had been harboring until I started to shiver. Then, I turned the knob hot and let it uncoil my muscles and tendons until I felt a little like jelly. Minute three was always my benchmark for washing away the soap suds, but now I was only starting. I picked up a random shampoo bottle - there were three for whatever reason- and leathered up my hair, giving my scalp the scratching of a lifetime. The hood protected my hair from a lot, but it couldn't protect it from itself. I pushed the water through my hair, feeling it lay flat from the weight of the water, and slipped my fingers out of the strands, detangling it here and there where my fingers caught. Using my hands and nails for nothing better, I purged every inch of skin, over the scrapes and bruises and the deep scars on my wrists and collarbone from older affairs. I did so with more soap than necessary, going back for seconds because I wasn't used to the water passively just rising it off instead of me having to douse myself, and because I really was enjoying the cleansing. Finally, I picked up my hood from off the floor, rubbing it against my chest to gather up excess soap and massaged the fabric until it was just as sudsy as I had been. Getting the bright idea to use it to clean my make up instead of clawing at it with my fingers, I rubbed the soft silken fabric over my face before washing it out again.

Feeling refreshed, I stepped out of the shower. I applied fresh paint and squashed my head through my neck guard, plopping my hood on after wringing it out till it threatened to rip. It wasn't much of a neck guard as it was a modified mock turtleneck. They were common in Suna for women to bring even the deepest of v-necks to modesty or for sun protection. You just threw one under whatever you wore, and bam, instant tight and reliable turtle neck! Mine was ultra-thin spandex so it didn't mess with the already pre-existing turtle neck of my suit, and so it could also rise onto my jaw a smidge. It was the love of my life. 

I then broke into what Kiba gave me. It was a black pair of sweats and a mesh top, identical to the ones he wore, but with long sleeves. I’d never worn mesh on its own, too worried about straight skin cancer and my reflection to give it a go, but Kiba wasn’t about to know that. I saw why this was his first choice; as soon as I pulled it over my head it stretched easy. The mock turtle neck covered most of my upper chest, but not all, and I was uniquely uncomfortable with the way that if the fabric stretched, my nipples, belly button, and all else could easily be seen. I quickly did my paint. I was in a hurry to set it so I could relax, so I moved fast, letting muscle memory do most of the work. Sighing and leaving the misty confines of the room, I shoved my clothes into the laundry basket placed just outside, shoved my hands in the sweat’s pockets, and shoved Kiba's door open, scowling at him before he could do a once over. Flopping down on the floor where he was rubbing Akamaru’s tummy, I threw him a glare and leveled him with it till he broke eye contact and gave Akamaru's tummy more attention than it needed.

“I see the shower did you good.” His voice drew my eyes to him, and I noticed him sniffing the air and expressly not looking at me. He shifted his weight and glanced at me once more before breaking eye contact when he saw I was still glaring at him. I watched as he sniffed the air one more time and his canines enlarged into something closer to fangs. He drew his legs up and exited briskly, Akamaru immediately following. What a weirdo. After ten minutes of waiting, my eyes got heavy, and I curled up a little cold. My hair was damp, and the air that reached my scalp was uncomfortable at best. I smooshed myself against the frame of Kiba’s bed, and then remembered who the fuck I was. If I could save his ass, I could sleep in his bed. I got up and on his bed instead, curling on top of his bed instead of invading between the sheets. I pulled at the comforter and coiled around till I was covered and warm within its fluff. I spied my puppets in the corner behind the door and felt at ease. There was also a picture on his wall, it was of him looking triumphant, all smiles, alongside the creepy-ass bug dude, and a shy but sweet-looking girl. I lazily decided I didn't like any of them besides Kiba. 

Being swaddled and cocooned by blankets always left me feeling like hibernating, especially when I had a full stomach, plus I could faintly smell Kiba's natural scent on the bedspread, along with what could only be Akamaru’s musky scent. For some reason, all logic left far behind when I started to get sleepy, that was a good smell, more of a feeling, like I was kept safe away, guarded. Finally, warm, fed, and sheltered, I passed out.


	5. Green Walls, Jenga in the Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kiba needs to go to horny Jail, and discovers secrets at Gai's house.  
> Gaara and Kank are reunited.  
> Lee is just doing his best okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long to come out. A whole month! This was a really hard chapter for me to write for my small and humble following, but here it is. this chapter is almost entirely fluff - which is why it was hard to write; I get really impatient about my story if I know where I want them to go, but I've finally pushed through.  
> I really hope yall like it, it may or may not be funny, I really have no clue how to write so I don't know how any of it landed but whatever, a chapter is a chapter. ;>
> 
> Let me know if y'all need a Jenga Chap.  
> Oh, also, let me know if yall would like some *fanart* too, I'm probably going to be getting a drawing tablet this Christmas for myself, and I need to practice my transition to digital. i also have a small collection of *fan art* that i have on paper that I feel could maybe definitely shared. (Also I'm just really thirsty to add to this corner of the fandom because this ship and shit is just beautiful and overlooked.

The shower was nice. Or, at least it should have been, but I was plagued with the sight of Kankurou in the mesh shirt and sweats bouncing around my skull. Honestly, I had been completely innocent when picking it out, he was taller and broader than me; most of my shirts couldn’t dream of fitting him. Same for my pants, a total no go. But my innocent creation took an immediate and not so innocent toll on me. Perhaps it was the realization of how little of Kankurou I had actually seen before and up to this point. After all, I had never seen him without his hood, shirt, or even that fucking paint, and seeing his skin peek out from the mesh where it was forced to spread over his broad chest had my heart pounding out of the blue. And of course, when I stepped into the bathroom the heavy mist was coated in his scent and I almost couldn’t take it. Like a wet blanket, it covered me, and I was impossibly drowning, waterboarded in an instant. Breathing through my mouth tried my best to ignore it despite the way my gut roiled, goosebumps traveled up my arms, and my god-forsaken canines pushed against the inside my lip. Hardly being able to stop, I gasped out a held breath before smelling the air again. With a shudder that carried enough force to buckle my knees, my claws forced their way out, and with another sick twist in my stomach, I realized I wasn't in control any longer. I was losing. I was losing my grip on myself.

When Kankurou came out of the shower, he had been smelling of my shampoo, out of all the ones he could have picked. Ordinarily, I wouldn't care, but smelling it on him was like smelling my own scent lingering with his. Like he was wearing it, like he was brandishing that he was mine and It had made me want to jump him. Made me want to kiss and bite at his neck till he didn't have to announce to whom he belonged with- I didn't understand what was going on with me. The scary thing about it wasn’t the way I felt myself getting aroused at his scent or at the snippets of exposed skin the mesh shirt allowed me to see. Or the way I shuddered at the compilation of these things. It left me confused and uncomfortable and awfully conflicted, but not frightened; I had experienced that before. I remembered the first time I’d seen Shino lose his shirt and expose that pretty biteable neck of his, I remembered the way my mind was unable to keep up with my hormones and lust. The fascination I had with laying claim to his neck practically fetishized it, put it on a sexual pedestal, but it was only because I knew I was one of the few who saw him dressed down and it made me suddenly and irrevocably possessive. Or the first time I noticed Hinata coming into her womanhood, and the way every part of my nose was certain that she was begging to be fucked, and how I could barely keep my hands off her for fleeting days knowing she wouldn’t keep them off her for me. I had crushed on her at some point, but it had faded until one day she just… smelled different, then it was just pure lust. This time, It was the fact that there was also something else. It wasn’t just pure arousal like the times before, nor was it the little inkling of a crush I had kindled in his presence, although that was concerning too, I'd never had a crush on a guy, especially not someone like Kankurou. No, what I was feeling, it was another beast entirely, and it was just as strong and primal as that all-encompassing lust. But it wasn't just lust. It was this longing, a draw starting to build, an ache and it was selective, I had never felt it before. And _that_ is what scared me; it was driving me insane. I had never wanted someone so entirely.

Needless to say, the shower was cold, very cold and long, and yet, it was an act of mercy.

Getting dressed, pulling my own new mesh shirt over my head - I had a little bit of an addiction to them, Shikamaru had let me borrow one and the rest is history- I cleared the mirror. I looked a little worse for wear; I had a slim cut on one cheek and deep bags under my eyes, but overall still me. Although in all honesty, I didn't quite feel like me. Not that I hadn't ever had rough missions, but that was the first I think I genuinely confronted death… my death. I felt like the weak link, not in just the squad but with Akamaru and Kankurou too, they both saved me. I felt undone by the mission like I needed time to hibernate in a cabin and come back out a newer better version of myself. I'd thought the feeling might lessen once I got home, but that didn't seem to be the case. I was unhinged and mangled. I never saw myself like this before but maybe I'd always been this way: weak, fragile, just like everyone else. My feelings were unwelcomed and curious, and I suddenly felt as my dog was the only constant in my life, and that felt awful cause he should never be my lifeline, I should be his. I should be reliable. A good leader. And I couldn't even keep my best friend safe, hell I couldn't even keep my libido in check.

I cursed, wishing the mirror would fog over again, but my shower had been cold, where Kankurou's had been hot and so the steam was fleeting. So instead, I looked down at the sink deck, snatching up my toothbrush determined to control anything at the moment, and viscously scrubbed the fuck out of my teeth. I couldn't help but eye Kankurou’s neat stack of paints as I did, and driven by some (most likely hormonal teenage boy angst) the deep-seated need to hide my weakness, no, to change and become someone else I snatched the purple pot.

I curiously twisted the lid off, there was a thick, thick paint-like substance inside as expected and I gave it a sniff, recognizing it immediately from off of his skin. Letting myself go a bit, wondering what the worst that could happen was, I spread the paint over the red fang down my cheekbones, till I had one red, and the other purple, when I couldn't get the points sharp enough I used the edge of my claw instead of my fingertips and found the results striking. Admiring my handiwork in the mirror, I knew there was another step I was missing because it didn't look finished or refined as Kankurou’s did. Kankurou’s never looked wet or tacky like this did now, so I let my experiment toil on, figuring maybe it needed to dry. Regardless, I turned my cheek to the mirror, so all I could see was the purple side. He had truly touched me, changed me, in just a few days, that I decided was scary. I was catching myself redhanded, admiring the way his color looked covering my clans marking, in a mirror fogged by his intentions.

And then I heard the door slam shut. The paint flew out of my hand and I fumbled to catch it! Managing to not let any of it spill - It was too thick anyways- I put the lid on messily stacked it back where Kankurou had left it.

“I'm home!” it was my mother’s voice, Kuromaru was home so I knew she wasn't going to be gone for long, but I was enjoying free rein of the house with Kankurou. Still, I rushed down the steps to greet her. My mom was fierce and at times too much, and that went with everything she did. She loved fiercely and was always keen on putting herself out there, and she expected the same from her kids. Hana may have been a disappointment in sheer obvious and unbridled gusto, but she was more than a match for anyone once you got to know her, and I was not about to be the one that disappointed or let my mother's rough variety of love falter or be wasted. I loved her as fiercely as I could. Reaching the end of the stairs I threw myself into her and breathed her in. Her scent always made everything go away, her heartbeat quenched all needs, and her embrace drowned all fears. I felt her claws ruffling through my hair and one of her strong arms wrap around my middle.

“My boy is home, when did that happen? I was beginning to worry.” she grabbed at my jaw with her calloused hands and kissed my cheek.

“Oh! And what’s that! You're purple.” she remarked whipping the color from her lips. I blushed through the purple paint. “You’re not trying to get away from me by marrying into some other shitty clan are you?!” Laughing and pushing off her chest playfully, I ran a lap around the kitchen table before returning to her side.

“No, I was just messing with… umm. So, we have a guest.” She arched a fine eyebrow at this. She always wore thick mascara and plucked her eyebrows and it made her eyes really pop. I thought it was a bit much, her eyelashes a little too dark and clumpy, but she liked it so It was beautiful.

“Ya know, I was kidding about the ‘marrying’ bit?” she asked now only half kidding.

“It's not like that” _I hope,_ I thought.

Pulling her gently up the stairs, I knocked lightly on my door as if not to startle him, but as I opened the door, all that could be seen as a vaguely -at best- Kankurou shaped ball, wrapped up in my comforter. Mom chuckled quietly, her face splitting as it elevated into a whispered cackle. I scowled after I gathered my jaw off the floor; The nerve this guy had.

“I guess we don't have a guest, he looks far too comfortable to be any guest. Should we buy you a nice suit or are you more into a sharp tux?”

“Stop it! No weddings! Jeez. Anyways, that useless sack over there is Kankurou... He really did save my ass back there so play nice with him. When he came in, Kuromaru really wasn't fond, but I'm sure if you warm up, he will too.” I explained further.

“Hey, I don't blame him, after all, he has gotten into your bed his first time around with you!” I closed the door gently as mom proceeded to think she was the funniest thing to walk this Earth and I punched her arm.

“But, really I don't blame him, that kid reeks of some scary shit.” I cocked my head at her. After a second she cocked her head back, clearly waiting for me to acknowledge that truth, but I just peered at her.

“That kid smells like poison,” she paused to look me dead in the eye. “fear, and blood, don't forget that Kiba. Trust your nose.”

She was right of course, but it still shocked me because, at some point, I had stopped noticing. Like my nose suddenly decided to become a selective smaller.

“Nonetheless, if he helps my Ki-boy, I will accept him with open arms!” she threw an arm around me grinding her knuckles into my head. “Besides, you seem to like him quite a bit.”

“For the last time mom, there were no weddings or clan vacilitation!” I whisper shouted. "We're not even friends."

“I can smell you lying” She flicked my nose and proceeded to claim she needed 'tv time' to kick back and let her hair down, still muttering about coy secretive weddings. Meanwhile, I returned to the bathroom to wipe off the paint. It was harder than expected to get off, but hot water eventually did the trick. After drying my face off I went back to my room. If the sight before me was an impressionist painting, I would tell everyone It was a vague albeit artful piece depicting a lone baby crow, just a black puffball in a nest. He was mostly covered by my blood-red comforter, all but a stray hand there, half a face here, and a leg was thrown messily away from himself. His shoes were still on, but thankfully both feet managed to hang off the bed, he really was quite tall for his age.

Scooping up Akamaru and a manga I slowly crept up onto my bed, feeling as though I was the intruder. I wanted nothing more than to lay down and not worry about anything on my own bed, and usually, I was either enough of a 'king of the hill' class of a dick to push friends and family off with no remorse...But… Kankurou was both intimidating and cute. ‘Let sleeping dogs lay’ i suppose. It was nice to see him drop his guard, even if he probably passed out due to sheer exhaustion instead of choice, I still reaped the benefits of seeing an unguarded expression.

Flipping through a few chapters of the manga, I began to get restless. I was caught in the strange and hellish limbo of not being able to fully relax, and not being able to commit to being up and at ‘em. Kankurou rolled in his sleep, pushing at the blankets till they only covered a single arm and calf, and quickly returned to peace. I watched him more than strictly necessary, enjoying the way he wasn't spending any energy into sneering or posturing. I thought that I liked him like this; all relaxed like jelly, with his eyes pinned shut and painted features all soft, he looked a bit like Akamaru. It was a fuzzy feeling that overtook me, the same that made me giddy over the little things. I tried to figure out why my brain was intent on pushing Kankurou's existence and mine together despite his imminent and most likely permanent departure, but I couldn't make sense of it.

Far too immersed in my current activity of peering down on the sleeping form despite how it was now bordering on the creepy landmark, I almost missed the sand that was starting to collect above me. In fact, if it wasn't for the stench of blood and the shushing rasping sound, I wouldn't have noticed at all. Throughout freaking out about the sand and what it could mean, I decided this was the perfect opportunity to pull Kankurou from his sleep. I shook his shoulder hard and watched as his eyes opened blurrily. Within the moment with features crumpled into malcontent being once again rudely awoken. All I had to do was point at the spot above where the sand was now vaguely an eyeball and he was sighing dramatically, rolling his eyes, and rolling back over.

"Hey, no don't go back to sleep! What the fuck is that?" I shook him again.

"Gaara is just checking in, yes, I know it's creepy, yes I've told him...but he doesn't really … empathize with _other_ peoples privacy needs. I don't know how, but he always knows where to look for me." He was rapidly relaxing back into sleep, his voice slipping in and out of odd cadences.

"Well! How do I tell him to fuck off?"

He groaned, rubbing his face into the bedspread before turning back to face it. ‘It’ being the uncomfortably large sand eye that was pupilless, and dead, and just plain upsetting. He stuck his tongue out before rolling over, and the eye fell apart in clumps and trailed away through the cracked window. He pushed his face back into the wrinkle he had formed and started to relax, just before I thought that was that, he pushed up off the bed entirely.

"Okay, let's go."

"Huh, aren't you tired"

He looked at me like he wanted to push me out my bedroom window and would if he was well, not so tired.

"Yes, now let's go. Take me to him, he's with that lee kid, do you know where he lives?" I sighed not wanting to move as I had been enjoying the pastime I had created; he was much cuter when asleep.

"No, but I can sniff him out." I pulled myself off the bed and scooped up the sleeping Akamaru who just yawned completely willing to be stuffed into my hoody.

"You take him everywhere, huh?"

"To the grave," I said kissing his head and thinking to myself how we'd come too close this last time. “So you just have to stick out your tongue?”

Kankurou heaved up his puppets and I watched his arm and back muscles grow to taunt as he situated the crow, now very much so visible through the thin tight mesh. “Just something unordinary to acknowledge his needs, whatever they may be.”

" You won't need them."

He just looked at me.

We skillfully escaped the house without notifying mom or triggering any of the dogs and once out on the town I uncoiled and Kankurou recoiled. It was hard to deal with him in my house, having our scent mingle more than strictly necessary, and of course, it left me open to his scrutiny. It was a bit too vulnerable for my comfort, but for Kankurou it must have been preferred; He sneered and grouched at passersby, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable because said passerbys sent _me_ the dirty looks instead of him. As he walked he kicked at pebbles and rocks in the path, only smiling when he happened to kick a small rock directly underfoot of a 5-year-old, and watching as she face-planted with a mean grin on his face. It was mean, but It _was_ a little funny, the poor creature had a look of pure confusion as she got up. She wasn't seriously injured or anything so… no harm no foul. Except it didn't stop there. 

I could be assholish, especially to anyone weaker than me, but I usually only said mean things to the kids or tried to intimidate them for no other reason but to stroke my admittedly somewhat fragile ego. It was like all-out war for him though, except that every attack was an underhanded ambush to an opponent who had no clue they were in firing range. He stole another kid’s lollipop who immediately burst into tears at the sight of his face and when the mom gave him a dirty look, he gave her a thumbs down while sticking his tongue out. I apologized profusely, giving the mom pocket change to buy a new one, and hauled Kankurou away.

"Dude, come on. You just stole some poor kid's lolly." He stuck it in his mouth and crunched down on it till it shattered. "Which is, for your information gross ‘A’, and ‘B’, What if the thing has HIV or someshit?Oh and ‘C’, and the biggest dick move."

He spit out the lollie shards, but before I could get triumphant, remarked how he doesn't like sweets. I wanted to deck him. Square in the nose. I curled my firstly resisting all but leveling my best-disappointed look at him.

"Are you trying to peer pressure me into being nice to kids? Wow," he smirked and rolled his eyes. "If you're not nicer to me, I'm going to tell my mommy." He cried out in a mocking howl. I went from being mildly astonished and peeved by his douchebaggery to downright pissed.

" Look, I don't know how shitty your childhood was to lead you into picking on kids half- no! A quarter of your size, but I _can_ tell you exactly how much of a fucking dick you're being at the moment! It takes _zero_ effort, you just keep walking!"

“You must not know me very well,” he said, turning to me and grabbing my collar, lifting me to my tippy toes. He was quite a bit taller than me I realized because only now was I at eye level. We stared each other down for a moment, I knew somewhere in my head that he could probably wreck my shit without even trying right now, seeing as how rough my condition was … but remember that fragile ego… yea. Apparently both of us too big-headed to realize how fizzerlous all this was, we continued collecting tension between us; A sorry wasn't going to cut it, and he wasn't going to say it anyway. It was now of all times I remembered his eyes were actually green, like Graara’s, but I was too angry to fawn over it, cause all I wanted to do was spit in them. Finally, the tension shattered as Akamaru growled, breaking the tie as he popped his head out of my jacket. Kankurou growled down at Akamaru before shoving me out of his way continuing to walk, now slightly ahead. Petting Akamaru to soothe him back out - and calm myself - we walked intense silence. I thought about how Naruto had said that the reason he didn't like Kankurou was that he threatened Konohamaru. At first, I thought he had mostly been exaggerating, but it was clear there was plenty of truth behind it. I growled angrily kicking a rock in the path. At least the next kid we saw didn't spontaneously have his day made terrible. 

_Note to self:_ Kankurou is very confrontational, kids included… didn’t he threaten to hurt Akamuru to get me to walk that one time?? He definitely did. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me. Still, being an unadulterated dick should have at least some consequences, he got what was coming to him. I continued on this train of thought, slowly petting down Akamuru’s scruff, trying to sync my heart to his, seeing as mine was still racing against roadrunner. BUT sERIOUSLY, who does that? They’re kids, they don't know that they’re stupid, annoying, and frankly disgusting abominations?

"Catch me if you ca- oof!" I looked up just in time to see Kankurou lifting a child off the ground. _Fuck really? Really?_ It was none other than the late 3rd Hokage's grandson and his two best friends trailing further behind. Holy everloving fuck, am I actually going to have to do this today. It's like walking an aggressive dog, no it's like taking one to the dog park without knowing that, surprise, this one wants to kill every living creature. My god. They stopped dead when they saw Kankurou, and I watched Konhamaru's face morph into shock and disbelief as he too was lifted to eye level by Kankurou.

"It- it's you again! Put me down You!" I guess that was that. Kankurou had left … an impression on these kids. Konohamaru continued to struggle, fruitlessly flailing his short and stubby arms at his captor. I stalked up to Kankurou's side and watched as Konhamaru's face lit up.

"Put him down."

Apparently, he was now feeling spiteful, because he dropped Konohamaru but with a flick of his hands and a terrifying wail, the 3rds grandson wrapped his arms around Kankurou's leg against his will. Kankurou shook his leg as if to detach Konohamaru from himself, meanwhile poor Konohamaru was still trying to regain control over his body. I growled, this time grabbing _him_ by the collar.

"That is the late 3rd Hokage's grandson, you will let him go." At this point, we had concerned onlookers but Kankurou’s scent remained shameless as he feigned shock at Konahamaru's actions. He was a good actor too, I had to check looking down at his hands to make sure it was him puppeteering the kid.

"He obviously doesn't have a problem with it; we were only playing. Hokage's or not, you can't pull rank on me. " Even though I was the one who he spoke to, he looked down at Konohamaru as if everything was his fault instead. And that's when things became even more complicated. One minute Kankurou is glaring down at a child, and the next he is scrambling to block an attack. Naruto, as if summoned, popped out of nowhere and struck out at Kankurou who blocked the surprise attack using both hands, and subsequently released Konahamaru, who rushed into his party of friends.

" You piece of shit, stop picking on my friends every time you set foot in my village!" One of Kankurou's hands slipped into his ninja pouch, a kunai coming back out with it. Naruto was screaming, konohamaru and Co. were crying, Kankurou was ‘bout to stab a bitch, and I was NOT about to let this spiral out of control any farther. Thankful for my speed, I dashed in between them, grabbing Kankurou's wrist and pushing Naruto away from him.

"Stop!... Put the knife down. Naruto: relax. Little shits:... fucking Scram!" Said little shits hightailed it, and I was thankful because it was probably the only reason Naruto actually listened to me, the halfwit. Kankurou slipped his kunai away after Naruto visibly forced himself to calm down. Kankurou sighed, cracking his neck and fingers before starting to walk again.

"Hey! Hey. You're just gonna walk away!?" Naruto yelled, and for once I felt the same way.

"It's still this way right?" Kankurou said, completely bypassing naruto's comment, whistling into the air and lacing his fingers behind his head.

"Why the hell are you even here anyway?" Naruto said following Kankurou.

"Have you been living under a rock, we were brought by _your_ new Hokage to rescue _you_ , Kiba, and your lazy friend."

"Huh? But Lee and Kakashi were the only-" 

"And who the hell do you think got Lee home?" Kankurou asked, cutting Naruto off mid-sentence. Naruto stopped dead, thinking, derailed from his anger completely by his newfound problem.

"If I'm here with Dog Boy, and the bone dude was stronger than all the others, don't you think out of my two siblings, the strongest is the most well suited?"

"So wait. Lee was brought home… by… Gaara! He's here too?!" Suddenly Naruto was happy and then fearful "Lee is alright still right?" 

"Probably, that's what we are about to find out." They continued to chat, Kankurou looking like this interaction was enough punishment for his childhood trauma-inducing hobby. And I guess Naruto was just coming along now, with nothing better to do and excited to see Gaara, I suppose I couldn't blame him. I did find it surprising how over the moon he was about Gaara, seeing as -well, I didn't know of anyone here, or anywhere, who should be excited for that, except for maybe Kankurou who was… not that.

My nose pulled me to a right-hand side street and I had to holler for Kankurou and Naruto to follow me because they had taken the helm a while back. Glancing behind me, making sure they caught my drift I saw Kankurou looking drained and about ready to keel over, and upsettingly, I couldn't seem to stay mad at him after looking upon him.

"Hey, are you really the Kazekages kid?" I asked offhandedly over my shoulder. I had known Gaara was, and I guess they're siblings so it should make sense, but it hadn't clicked until he'd commented on rank pulling.

"Huh. Oh yeah, dear old dad: Rasa the fourth."

"Wait. whaaAAT! AN ASS LIKE YOU!"

At this Kankurou was cackling.

"Why don't you tell me how you really feel! Trust me as cool as it sounds, let's just say I got my love of kids from somewhere."

\--

When we finally arrived, Naruto had been pestering Kankurou about life as the kazekage's son, and the differences between Kazekage and Hokage culturally. He was verbally running circles around Kankurou, who hardly even attempted to respond because Naruto would cut him off with another question before he got anywhere. I knocked on the door and heard a mildly confused come in and beckoned the others to follow me. For the first time in quite some time, Naruto was quiet even though he was beaming just under the surface, clearly ecstatic and nervous to see Gaara and Lee. Kankurou called out for Gaara, pushing ahead of me to try and find him, and rounded a corner to have Lee right in his face.

"Is Gaara in?" he asked surprisingly well mannered.

"YEA IS GAARA IN!" Naruto yelled in my ear as he rushed to see lee. He literally ran a circle around Lee, inspecting him from head to toe. "Hi Lee," he simply greeted after.

"Naruto! What a surprise to see all of you here, I would invite you to spar but Gai sensei says I am to rest, so would you like to come in instead!?"

"We're already inside numbnuts," I said as he led us back to the living room. Gaara and Gai were sitting on the floor with their backs resting against the couch with a fist aid kit spread out between them. Naruto and Kankurou beelined for Gaara, Naruto making it first and Gaara turning just in time to be surprised by his sudden proximity. Lee went to Gai's side and I sat facing the rest of the group. I could see now that the first aid was for Rock Lee's arms and hands as he was unwrapping bloody bandages. On the other side of the couch, Gaara was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as Naruto was invading his big personal bubble. It was very subtle but he inched closer to Kankurou until eventually Kankurou got up and sat almost on Naruto. The two didn’t seem close, but Kankurou could read Gaara like an open book. Naruto scooted away from Kankurou, leaning forward to talk around the front of him. Regardless of how Naruto was completely oblivious, Gaara had this tiny little smile on his face where the pressure used to sit. 

Eventually, Naruto calmed down and so did the rest of the room, except for Gai and Lee, they were as invigorated as ever. I slipped Akamaru out of my jacket and took it upon myself to find the bathroom. I wandered from the living room down the nearest hallway, all of which was covered with photos of dojo matches of team Gai, And one of Kakashi and Gai playing Janga. I opened a big sliding door that I was surprised to see led to a training ground. I closed the door checking the next, this was a room. On dull green walls with silver trim, there was a photo of team Gai, a big one, on the far wall. I could tell it was Lee's, it just felt like him, and smelled like him too. The room looked like discipline and unbridled honestly. Neat bed with weights next to it. A small bookshelf with training guides and a yoga ball in the corner. There was a succulent and a very large bottle of water resting on the bedside table. From here I could hear the group hooting and hollering, despite their ill composition, it seemed they were somewhat content to bicker and exchange each other's company for a bit. I could explore for a second, I had a nosey side, so I pushed my way in, my bathroom need momentarily forgotten. I went up to the photo on the far side of the wall. The three of them were in this bear hug by Gai, all three of them looking as if they'd all just fought a bear, Lee had a black eye and Tenten held a chained spiked mace triumphantly with Neji, unfortunately, pressed in between them in the middle. I continued violating the space cause at some point I couldn't help myself - I could I just didn’t want to- I wandered over to the bedside table and opened the drawers. Expecting to find at least a dirty magazine or something scandalous, treasured, and lone condom for a special day. Maybe an adult movie perhaps. Instead, there was a journal/ day planner. Disappointment is a strong motivator; Lee cannot be so perfect, he can’t, I flipped it open.

~MORNING MOTIVATIONS~

-GAI SENSEI’S BEST QUOTES

"That's it, Lee! Run...run towards the setting sun!... But don't mess up your hair!"

WHAT THE FUCK. rEALLY!

Throwing the book back in the drawer and feeling perhaps like that would be the most scandalous thing to find in here. I went to the dresser. I honestly already felt scandalized, but maybe if I found something truly naughty, it would help cleanse my palate. Opening the lowest drawer in pushed through the regular clothes. Nothing. Damn. I placed the perfectly folded clothes back one by one. Wait. Pink. everything was green or yellow, but that was pink. I pulled it out, ah and another. My god, I never imagined he would have straight-up women's clothes! Sports bra and underwear, of course, the gym juncky. The real question was did he buy it… or steal it. Not braving the underwear - I really didn’t need to be THAT close to Lee’s personal life (I didn’t need to be THIS close either, but hey, we die like men) I sniffed the bra.

My god, it's Tentens… I, do they, no surely not, but… NOPE. 

Choices were made, and I will suffer the consequences, but I can't bear… I walked out, shutting the door. I don't wanna know. I don’t need to know. Jesus, why do I do this, why do I know I'm gonna find something terrible every time I look for something terrible. But geez this one is somehow so much worse. And I have so many questions I can't bear the answer to. As I left the room and wondered further down the hall I felt a tinge of discomfort in my gut. A stomach aches I guess; I hadn't eaten recently, probably about that time. The next room was one on the left and it seemed to be a study/workout room. Finally, I found the bathroom in the next room on the right. Their bathroom had exclusively ‘female’ shampoos and conditioners. Flowery soaps and light pink or lovely lavender tones. Nothing spicy or the cool hard blue with grey or black bottles. I would be the type to judge, That plus, the evidence I had found is… interesting but I'm no longer taking that path in life. This is an opportunity to clean up my act. And hey, honestly, most ‘male’ shampoos smell too strongly for my taste, always too chemically to tolerate. Honestly, the girl's shampoo isn’t always better, but at least they usually tried to smell natural like this honey lavender scent instead of whatever the fuck men's shampoo was supposed to smell like.

Regardless, I flipped up the lid and let loose, sighing in comfort, with this piss, I will be forgetting everything that that hallway led me to - except Kakashi and Gai playing Janga. I shook, flushed, and didn’t bother with the lid, the nearest female I could imagine coming over would be Tenten, or I suppose right now Tamari. I fluffed my hair out in the mirror noticing that it had dried a little funny. I left the room and was surprised when my stomach ache lifted and I entered the main room. They had settled down into a circle with Akamaru flitting in between Naruto and Kankurou for scratches and rubs. Lee had been bandaged up and Gai had apparently brought out snacks, there were fruits and some very obviously brown rice crackers on the table, which Naruto, Lee, and Kankurou had obviously been partaking from. I wanted to sit by Naruto or Kankurou, but there was somehow no room for me there, which left me either sitting next to Naruto and Gai.. or Kankurou and Gaara. I inserted myself in between Gai and naruto.

“I mean as cool as it would be to do that, Tamari will probably be back tomorrow, and if it's not open then what can we do?”

“I could be of some use there.” Naruto chipped in with a bit lopsided and sneaky grin. “I go pretty often with the Pervy Sage, so I’m pretty aware of the way things work around there. If nobody is there, we could always just help ourselves, after all, it is a natural one!”

I was confused now, I had been seen walking back into the room.

“Wellllll, it would be kinda cool I guess, We’ve never been to one,” Kankurou said looking over to Gaara.

“Yes, we mostly have Oasis, and they tend to be very popular with wildlife,” Gaara spoke up.

Naruto got this sparkle in his eye. “Woah! Do you guys get like giant lizards there?” I sensed the conversation was about to change so I seized my chance before it got too derailed.

“Been where?” I asked.

“Hot springs! We were just thinking before they left, we could treat them to the hot springs because it was such a hard mission, and they’ve got a hell of a walk back.” Naruto beamed at me, and it was contagious, I smirked, unable to not. That was the nice thing about Naruto, it was nearly impossible to not be uplifted by him, regardless of how annoying he can - or better yet - _will_ be.

“As much as I know that Youth sometimes is difficult to control, you guys may find better success if you plan your break-ins around your peers, not the faculties.” Gai chimed in, in a mildly scolding way, silence descended on the group as a single tear fell from his eye “and yet, even though I know better than to let this sort of unbridled behavior run rampant… it's just so good to see bonding youth! I have heard nothing of the plan!”

...Wow… 

We looked around at each other, Kankurou looked as if he swallowed a bee, cheeks puffed out with un breathed laughter, Gaara looked somewhat, was that admiration? If I dare. Lee was crying, completely taken by Gai’s decision, Naruto… Wow, he was crying right along with them. I caught Kankurou’s eye, who had just managed to swallow his laughter.

“You looked like you swallowed a bee…” just like that the bee came right back before he descended into cackling. And I couldn’t help it. And neither could the rest of us apparently.


	6. Leaving Time: Pt. 1: The Bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They come home from Lee's, and shinanigans insue, if only to keep the impending anxeity of Kankurou's departure at bay.  
> Momma Inuzuka Is rather fond of Kankurou, and Kiba is a bad boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllo, my Barnicles, As you can see here is the new chapter. Im actually super bumed out about this one cause i actually DID make fanart for it. But, alas, my poor computer took like 200 volts to the head and burned out its mother board and power supply, this i why you use a power bar folks! Anywas the point is my fanart is on that computer so its not here, but it might show up later ;}
> 
> AND Happy Holidays! 
> 
> I might have gotten i little rushed with the editing here though if i'm honest, cause i was trying to have it out by new years day, soooo, feel free to call me out.

"We're home," I called out as I and kankurou stepped inside, silence followed so I could only assume mom must be asleep. Not that I could blame them, but people expected that when our home faced intruders -or even just visitors- would be a loud frenzy of barking and sniffling, however,in reality the ninken were silent, fully assured in themselves. They felt no need to bark about this or that, that was insecurity speaking most of the time, so instead they would just wait by doors or gateways, and if an intruder was so unfortunate to believe this was the right house to take advantage of, only then would they learn of the dogs presence. It was this same behavior that allowed friends and family to seamlessly sneak in or out of the house without detection, especially regulars who already had a consent scent waffling around the premises.

Regardless of whether or not mom was sleeping or just in another room, it seemed we had managed to enter without dealing with that confrontation, the only acknowledgment we received was one of Hana’s pups curiously checking who was here before returning to whatever he was doing in the backyard. Before, I was totally ready to have Kankurou and Mom meet, but after the first failed attempt, and all the unimpressive comments my mother had made, most of me was perfectly content with just letting them sneak past each other without detection.

“I'm hungry again. Feed me.” Kankurou spoke up as I started to head towards the stairs. Despite the fact that I was also a little hungry, having only snacked the entire time at Gai’s house, cooking in the kitchen would most likely draw out my mother, regardless of whatever slumber or other activity she might be encased in. It was late now, and after hours of us missing i'm sure she’d be on the lookout and come out at the quietest sound, which was not optimal -but still- Kranky Kankurou I had learned, was also not optimal. Thinking on it for a second more, I must have hesitated too long because Kankurou got behind me and steered me to the kitchen by the shoulders, walking and pushing me from behind. He walked me right up to the kitchen counter, till my hips found their way pressed up against it. And god help me. I was so boxed in so quick, I didn't know what to do for a second. Do I turn around and box him in, just for the record? Do I bare my neck and arch my back for him, cause, fuu-uck he’s kinda tall and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be his instead? And so, I stood still, because I couldn't even breath. Because I could smell the way my own body reacted to him, and it repulsed me. Because, somewhere my logic brain was screaming that  _ none  _ of those options are acceptable.

“Come’on, please?” And I shuttered, and breathed, and tossed up my head with the force of it… I simply couldn’t even help myself.

I prayed he didn’t feel it, but how couldn't he with his hands on me, I almost whimpered. Maybe I did because I felt him sigh against the back of my neck, and pull himself away. I quickly composed myself and turned to face him, crossing my legs in front of me and leaning back on the counter top with as much ease as I could manage, hoping my face wasn’t flushed yet, maybe if I was lucky he thought it was a laugh or a deranged sigh.

“I’m not your housewife, ya know. You could always pull your own weight, especially after you brought so much trouble to me out on the town.” I was being bitchy; hot from being cornered against my will, and bothered because out of people to get stuck with, and to be painfully betrayed by my body in front of, I didn't want it to be Kankurou, and yet, here I was. Lucky for me, Kankurou was seemingly still in a good mood, smirking lightly at me. Teasing and bullying always did seem to bring his mood up.

“Are you sure, my stomach says otherwise. Besides I'm still tired from hauling your weight all the way back here.”

He had me there so I looked away and started rummaging through the cabinets.

\--

Kiba was fun; a little hot tempered, and prideful. He was a showstopper; reactive and dramatised but raw, no filter or light or a full face of makeup, just him. I liked how I could see consequences and reality with him, like when I had mishandled Akamaru, and suddenly he hadn’t cared that I had rescued him or the fact we were 50 fifty feet above the ground balancing on a tree branch, and maybe fighting wasn’t a good idea. I liked him... And it was a new pain for me, because I knew it would all be short lived. And he wouldn’t miss a thing. I never had many friends, infact, no name came to mind when I thought about friends. People at home were either afraid of me, ashamed of me, or completely uninterested, and people far from home were just that, far and fleeting. I usually ended up killing them anyway, usually targets or allies of targets, I seemed to like people who were dangerous. It wasn’t that I was lonely, it was just that I didn't have anyone who made me want to have them. People had always been troublesome for me, so Kiba was the first. 

I had won this little spat and now he was begrudgingly prepping what seemed to be instant ramen for the two of us, so I leaned up against the table and asked for Akamaru figuring he would be content to watch Kiba with me. The little dog padded to me rather obediently and let me pick him up. Kiba glanced over his shoulder at me, so keenly aware of his beast. Leaning further back, I placed the little dog on my chest, I could feel the roughness of his paws against my skin which was unique; I had almost forgotten that I wasn’t wearing my usual garb. Almost. For the first time, I realized just how different he was from the other dogs in the house, the others were clearly wolves, or at least clearly closely related to wolves, but Akamaru was completely different. It was upsetting that I didn't know dogs enough to even tell exactly what was different, apart from the obvious floppy long ears and white coat, maybe the slope of his forehead or the way his neck met his head. The little dog reached his snout out and licked at my nose and I indulged him for a moment before pulling away. He cried a little at that.

“Oh stop that you big baby.” I chidded, seeing daggers glared into my soul from Kiba within the second. I instead let Akamaru snuffle underneath my hood, as he seemed fascinated by the smell of paint and my apparel. His little nose sniffling felt especially foriegn; to have anything but my own hands near my ears and hair was usually very unwelcomed, but always jarring. The tickle of his sniffing made me cringe as goosebumps raced down my arms and legs, in different circumstances I was pretty sure it would tickle like nothing else. Pulling him back and away, I gently slid him down my leg till he plopped on the floor, he cried again then, looking up at me with closed eyes.

“For a ninken he is awfully whinny.” I stated. Kiba turned, having ignited the stove under a pot of water. He kneeled and patted his lap till Akamaru climbed up into his, and his expression went all soft and gooey. I don't know how he could do it, it was painfully obvious he cared deeply for the animal, how he could manage that and being a ninjia had me lost. 

“Well, he is still only a puppy.”

“Wait really?” I looked at him, I would like to think ‘ _ oh my he really is,’  _ but in reality I had no clue about whether he was or not, dogs were still kinda a mystery to me. He was really soft, but I could hardly imagine Kiba taking him into battle as just a puppy.

“Yea, he will get much bigger, but for now he is just a bundle of fluff.” He Lifted Akamaru up above his head and the little guy yipped. 

“I actually spend a fair amount of time with him on my head.” He was laughing now, the dog scrambling up unto his brown mass of hair.

“What if he gets hurt?” I asked dumbly and Kiba got this dark look in his eye and turned away back to the ramen which was beginning to boil steadily. He added a few sauce packets and I couldn't help but think that maybe this is why people steered clear of me, and yet for some reason I just couldn’t find myself apologizing. Obviously if he gets hurt he either dies or makes it, like he did this time, why’d I even ask.

“Thank you… for bringing him back too.” He didn’t turn to face me, but he froze up staring deep into the pot. 

“I would have rather died alongside him rather than leave him. But the Ninken always get the short end of the stick, no one ever looks out for them even though they put their lives in our hands everyday.” By the end of his little speech, he sounded angry, and I was glad that Kiba was holding the little beast with as much strength as he was back in the woods, otherwise I probably would have left him. I didn’t even know that Akamaru was alive at the time to be fair, but it still left the residue of guilt building up inside my throat, making it hard to speak.

“Its… eh, it's no problem, it was mostly cause you wouldn’t let go of him.” I confessed. “That's why all my companions are wood.” He was laughing again then, and I felt myself get a little lighter. I wasn’t used to feeling like that with other people, like I didn't want to disappoint them… I wasn't used to it being someone other than my father at least. Kiba was getting down bowls now. He got down four blows and placed them at the table along with the pot of ramen. I saw now that there were also some boiled eggs in the pot as well which I thought was somewhat clever to elevate the meal. He dished out the portions, with a spar bowl left in the middle and one of just broth. He crossed the room and returned with a blow of dog food which he poured the bowl of broth over and set it back down on the table. We said thanks and dug in quietly. I watched as Kiba peeled his eeg, and it dawned on me that the empty spar bowl was for the egg shells. We ate in silence, which would have been comfortable if not for the fact that I could feel Kiba's boring holes in me with his eyes. To make matters worse, whenever I would get the chance to look up, he would already be looking aways. 

Kiba had this intensity about him, he wasn’t a particularly serious person, so it came as a surprise to me, but when he held you in his sights it was chilling and heavy. I could practically alway smell intent on him, like he wanted something when he looked at me, I just couldn’t smell what he craved. When he leveled those eyes at me I felt hunted and sought after, it put me on edge and I couldn't quite ignore it. So, I kept looking up trying to catch him red handed and he continued to visually dance around me till I finally caught him in the act. I raised my eyebrows at him expectantly.

“What? Why do you keep looking over here.” He got this flicker of ‘oh shit’ across his face and scratched the back of his head.

“I was just wondering what you-” he cut himself off, “Wondering why you wear the hood and makeup all the time? Isn’t it hot?”

“Here, no. At home yes.” He seemed genuinely curious but... “ It's kinda complicated…”

“You don't have to tell me, it's just kinda a weird choice.” I could tell there was more on that subject that he wasn’t saying. But I guess I will be leaving soon anyways, so what’s the harm in indulging him.

“It is kinda historical, but it originates from Kabuki actors; the paint helps express the facial features more, and puppeteer shinobi originated from Kabuki theatre.” I could tell he was a little lost, but by this point people usually just were wishing they never asked in the first place.

“So it's puppet culture?” he asked, before pondering another question, “Wait, but if you were it for tradition, why not more traditional colours and patterns?”

“Dad wasn’t super fond of his first son deciding that out of all the options I had, I wanted to play with dolls and be an entertainer - even though it’s pretty respected- so in order to distance me from it, he decided purple was the only acceptable color, after all i'm technically nobility.” I didn’t miss dad, but I think that Kiba maybe thought that I wore purple now out of respect for my late father, however that wasn’t the case. The truth of the matter was because I had grown into his arrogance and now I couldn't shake it off. And because I was a spiteful creature in my heart of hearts, and I had been wearing his image for so long I couldn't stop now just because he was gone and couldn’t tell me I repulsed him.

“Do you ever take it off?” Once again, I could tell that there were more words that weren’t spoken, but this time I knew that what he was really asking was either what I look like, or even to take it off. 

“Not unless I'm getting naked.” I snarked out. That put him back in his place; he swallowed a few times and scratched the back of his head, even averting his eyes to stare deeply into his bowl. It was a bigger reaction than I was expecting which made it all the more worth it, plus it wasn’t entirely an exaggeration. Obviously, I sometimes never got around to the makeup on a day off, and if I was sick or was just out of the shower, I usually would leave the hood off, but in reality I felt naked without it. It was my face, and without it, all the eyes peered right down to my soul. I finished off my ramen, pushing my bowl towards the center of the table and resting my chopsticks down across the rim. Kiba who had finished first gathered the blows, dumping the egg shells into Akamaru’s food and placing it down for him. He started washing the dishes which surprised me - who was perpetually sneaking off after eating, and leaving my dishes for Tamari.

“Is it always the same face, or does it depend on the day?” He asked, rolling up his sweatshirt sleeves and shaking down his hood. I really didn’t know where he got off thinking mesh and a sweatshirt were good companions despite them contradicting each other, but he pulled it off well. Although I will admit, it was shocking to find out he was hiding brown hair under the hood, the grey black looked so natural it was hard to adjust to brown. Although I suppose many people probably felt the same about me. I was always careful to push back my hair from view because it poked out in all the worst angles and honestly made my face look too noisy.

“I usually change it every once in a while, it's hard to learn how to place all the lines, plus it helps me step into who I have to be as a shinobi.” As I spoke, he dried his hands and started pulling his sleeves smooth, before removing the sweater entirely. Although I found it taunting that he felt comfortable enough to dress down in front of me and wanted to exploit him in some way for it, some part of me found satisfaction in it as well. Perhaps it was nothing to him, I was always a little too close to wearing everything as costume Gaara had once said, but to me the cloth we wear  _ was  _ a costume. People always saw me like that anyways. Besides, perhaps I was just a little backed up, but he had a pleasing psychic that… well, also made me want to exploit him. It always circled back to my insatiable need to fuck with people.

“Ah, so I finally get to see you,” I whipped my head around to see a woman, the same one from the photos, but in the flesh checking me out, as I appraised her son… great. I scowled at her, because I couldn't help myself, and that was always my first defense. She had cropped her hair down to shoulder length and had fierce eyes, like Kiba’s, but somehow even more off putting, maybe it was the makeup (Is this how I made other people feel with mine?) and of the course the same red fangs running down her cheeks. She was wearing only a bathrobe, but didn’t seem less threatening in the slightest, and as it should be for all shinobi, I had no clue how long she had been standing there, watching me size up her son and think about adding him to the ‘To Do’ list.

“Ooh, you got yourself a mean one Kiba.” She stalked over to me, planting one hand on the table and leaning over me, her sharp nose just 6 inches away.

“Mom, please. This is Kankurou.” I heard Kiba chide in the background, but I was in a deadlock with his mom at the moment, so it was really only white noise. I knew this was the part where I was supposed to back down and be respectful to this woman, but she was coming on too strong, so I just started backing into her ferocity, because what else could I do. It felt like minutes like this, trapped in a war I wanted no part of, but then everything shattered when she grabbed my chin, and It felt like electricity. I jerked away, scooting my chair back with the force of it, and averted my gaze. And it was like it never happened. She straightened up, and walked to Kiba, grabbing his head in her claws and kissing it, and it was the most peculiar feeling. She made the simplest of actions feel charged and primal, I had killed with less savagery, but maybe it was beautiful.

“So, you made yourselves food and didn’t save any for me?” She remarked, mostly talking to Kiba, which I was thankful for as I was still a little off kilter, I needed to be calm, but she left me bristling and feeling cornered even though she wasn’t even looking this way. Instead she just leaned down to pet Akamaru who was licking at her legs, his head ducked in gentle submission.

“You weren’t at the table.” Kiba said casually.

“So Kankurou, was it” She continued on without giving time for me to correct her, even though she of course didn’t need correcting “ I heard from my Ki-boy here that thanks are in order for you?”

I couldn’t help but smile at Kiba's family nickname, it was a simple but perfect title, and I latched on to the little bit of snark it gave me.

“Well, I did haul his ass all the way back home to you, right? I even kept him warm at night.” At this Ki-boy did go red, crossing his arms defensively and using one fang (the guy literally had like lowkey fangs, it was kinda wicked) to gnaw at his lip. I could read just how much he wanted this interaction to be over, if only for his own protection, but just that made me like this woman just a tad bit more.

“Well, I do hope that the Inuzuka lodging will be enough to please you, however feel free to take Kiba back home with you as a guard dog, I'm sure he’d more than appreciate it, he’s loyal too.” 

“Okay! Time for you to go back to bed. Good night Mom, you're no longer needed.” Kiba cut in sharply.

“Ahh, but I still need a snack. This is why you should always make food for the whole house.”

The two bickered until Kuromaru (which I now understand to be a little bitch compared to Momma inuzuka) appeared by my leg. He glared up at me, before sniffing my leg and moving on to retrieve his mistress. All it took was a touch from his nose and Momma Inuzuka was retreating back to the backroom.

“Goodnight boys. Don't have to much fun now, otherwise I really will be sending you away.” She directed the last part at kiba, “Oh, and Kankurou, you're welcome anytime, call me Tsume.” She winked and closed her door behind her. As soon as she left the room, Kiba let out this great sigh and I laughed at him.

“Shit man, I'm sorry, my mom can be a lot! Sometimes I don't know what to do with her.”

“Apology accepted, Ki-Boy.” He charged me, and I raced up the stairs, and he was on my heels, throwing curses at me as I tore through the house. He caught up fast getting up the stairs in no time flat on all fours, but I was stronger, so as we roughhoused in the doorway to his room before I shoved him out of the way and slammed it on his face.

“Hah, sorry KI-BOY, better luck next time?” I turned pulling most of my weight off the door to lock it and found nothing there. Shit. The door flew open, almost breaking my nose in the process.

“Jokes on you, Mom doesn’t fuck with locks!” He tackled me from lower than I had expected and managed to knock me down. I rolled easy though, and wound up back on top, discarding the puppets halfway through the roll for better mobility. I tried to keep him pinned, but in all honesty, taijutsu wasn’t my strong suit and he was squirmy. He had me backed up against the corner made by his bedside table and his bed in no time. In a last ditch effort I tried to escape out the side, he tried to stop me but I pushed through his efforts easily. I strangely felt my age, 15 and unworried, and rambunctious, and too loud in the middle of the night, and it hit me that I don't ever remember being 15, despite having the number attached to me for almost a year now. It was a complete stranger. And it made that feeling, that inkling that maybe Kiba wasn’t so bad kindle into a new flame in a tender box. I crawled under his arm, more so knocking his arm out of the way, rather than slipping through it, and I readied to turn around and kick him off me, because surely I was about to get tackled. I hadn’t accounted for his inhuman speed though, before I could counterattack or even turn around, he jumped on my back, and wrestled me down.

“Gotcha’!” I didn’t feel as though I had lost, but he certainly seemed to feel as though he’d won, but before I could point this out, I felt sharp claws dig into my bicep, and that was the only warning I had before he dug his teeth into the crook of my neck. I yelped, honestly surprised, jolting hard, and it hurt something fierce. And Kiba stopped moving all together. He let a low growl rubble out, and I could feel it race up the tendon of my neck before he released it. We separated awkwardly, waiting for the other shoe to drop. His mouth was parted in a pant and his eyes were blown wide. I thought that it was fear now, but I could also see they had harbored something else before that so I ran a mental catalogue on all the feelings that leave the eyes blown wide like that, but none seemed to fit the context. He just stared at me in this little crouch for a second, before his free hand drifted up to his mouth, his eyes finally flitting down to my neck. I didn’t even know what to think about it, I had only been bitten a few times, and none of them in this context. So I just stared back, until my own hand drifted up to my neck, and that snapped him out of it, made it real for him I suppose.

“Sorry!” He finally bleated out. “I don't know, I'm sorry… that was too much, I shouldn’t have bitten you.” He looked up making eye contact again. “I didn’t draw blood, did i? You can have a free hit if you want.” I stood up collecting the Crow and Black Ant from the ground and leaning them against the wall behind the door. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't know how to respond. My instinct was to teach him not to bite the hand that feeds him, but he looked more surprised than I felt, and I was pretty confused. I rolled my shoulder and felt warmth spread, I was definitely bleeding a little. Jeeze.

I walked out to the bathroom and he hurriedly followed me. I looked in the mirror, pulling the false turtle neck up to expose the skin there, and sure enough blood leaked out from the corners of the wound, smeared by the fabric having been pulled over it. Kiba anxiously approached me before, stepping away, before trying again, obviously distressed.

“You’re fine. I’m fine.” They weren’t the words I was expecting to say, but they felt right after the fact. This time he did approach me. “Those are some pretty wicked fangs you got there, they pushed right through.” He was trying to guide me to sit on the toilet and I let him, cause what else was I supposed to do when I don’t fight back. He dabbed peroxide on the wound pulled at the mesh till it stretched out of the way and rested lower on my shoulder. He then haphazardly put a big band-aid over the whole thing and patted the wound. The whole time my eyes peered into his mouth instead of his eyes or my injury, I didn’t even register them compared to the perfect view I had of those pearly whites… Murder Pearls. He stepped back, and then reentered my space to awkwardly pull the mesh up, then down again when he realized that I had 2 layers pulling the false turtle neck down before almost yanking the mesh up, before finally stepping away for good.

“Really, I'm sorry. I, I din’t mean to do that, you don't have to be nice about it.” I thought about it, but I only wanted him to stop staring at the ground for a moment so I could get a better look at his teeth.

“Then, let me see?” He stopped, then his hand went to cover his mouth taking a step back, before he shoved it down and opened his mouth obediently. I had to stand up to really see, and sure enough there they were, all shiny and white. I grabbed at his jaw, and felt it locked up, but he’d been the one to say it was okay, so tilted his head back, now significantly taller than he. His eye teeth really were out of control, they were large at first glance, but they seemed larger now. Maybe it was just that I had been bitten so I was noticing more, or maybe I was just closer now, but they really did remind me of all the wolves that hovered around here. Feeling entitled and already acquainted, I ran my thumb over the ridge of his teeth, and his jaw trembled with tension. I looked to find his eyes but they were shut tight, which was a shame.

His hand came up to gently wrap around my wrist, so I let his face go, and looked at his claws instead, they were honestly kinda pretty. And I wanted to look more now that I had had my attention attracted to them, but Kiba kept shifting his weight and only breathing every few seconds in big gulps and I knew he wouldn’t put a boundary down at this moment. So for once in my life, I let enough be enough before I went too far; I dropped his hand, and stepped back and he let out a sigh that weighed a thousand pounds.

“It hardly hurt, I was hyper on adrenaline anyways.” I said, shoving him playfully as I left the bathroom, to help him relax again. He was slower to follow me back so I took it as a good sign that he was feeling a little better.

“By the way, how is your wound anyways?” I asked when he made it back to the room.

He lifted his shirt up a little bit, which was not necessary seeing as it was also mesh, and rubbed at the bandage a little. “Honestly, it feels better than I thought it would, I think that salve really helped.”

“It's a good thing your kunai were in good shape too.” I said taking off my sandals, I wasn't sure, but it felt as though he was beginning to prep for quiet hours or bed, to which I couldn't blame him, it was quite late, and it had been a long couple of days, well really longer for him.

\--

I was occupying myself with setting up for bed and doing last minute chores as a distraction from my blunders and embarrassment. I never was good at the whole graceful defeat, especially when it came to my reputation instead of blood. And there was just so many things that happened today that were just a little too much, things that were on me in one way or another. The day was honestly a wreck, with Kankurou being an antagonist to random children, and my ( _ alleged _ and unadulterated ) horniness, and sticking my nose were it didn't belong in Lee's room, but hey at least everyone involved was too busy to think about how thoroughly fucked up it'd been. But now I had all the time to think about how I'd bitten Kankurou simply cause I wanted him and there was an opportunity. Even if kankurou didn't care, if he was of the Inuzuka clan that sorta behavior could fracture families. I didn't even know what I was doing, or the way I was claiming him, until I had my teeth shoved right where -if he'd been born an Inuzuka- a mating seal would go. All I had felt was the adrenaline and the drive to win… and the urge to get him to roll over. I, like kankurou, had honestly thought I was just playing, until the reality of my actions snapped into my perspective. And it was a reality check. I was out of control. I was losing to it. I don’t even know what ‘ _ it’ _ is! But it was taking over, and the worst part was that I almost wanted to keep going even after I'd realized what I was doing. Because he didn’t stop me and he probably didn’t understand the gravity of my actions. Hell, I'm not sure that even I understand the gravity of my actions, I wasn't even of bonding age yet but I guess some parts mature faster than others.

When had I stopped playing? Would I do that again? Is it possible to bestow a mating seal on someone outside of the clan and our primal dynamics? 

This plus the other disasters lead me to brushing my teeth like I was going to brush them away, and trying to set up a futon for Kankurou. I had always been bed possessive, even as a child, so it was a practiced task. I was the kid that acted as if their bed was their treasure, and would kick other kids out of my room and get stuck on it for hours after if some kid had the audacity to try and claim  _ my  _ bed as theirs by sitting on it, ior looking at it. However, as I flitted around with it, Kankurou lounged happily across my bed like he belonged there and actually  _ was _ claiming it, instead of it all being in my head. I knew in all reality that if I just got on my bed and curled up he would probably leave. It's not like he’s actually even fighting for my bed, I'm just projecting and trying to control anything I can at the moment, but still, it made me fresh and hot and the whole going to bed thing was also for some reason a bigger deal then it really ought to be. And regardless of the fact that technically, although I would never tell, we had literally spent a night cuddling and this really shouldn’t be a problem, it was a problem. Besides at that time I had literally been unconscious anyways so it was like the first time all over again. I didn’t have to think about sleeping vulnerable next to another warm body that wasn’t my mother or Akamaru. I didn’t have to think about a vulnerable warm body sleeping next to me, who apparently couldn’t control my basic prime urges.

I retrieved fresh sheets from the linen closet under the stairs, careful to not make too much noise downstairs. When I came back up I found Kankurou in the bathroom also brushing his teeth, he glazed over at me curiously, so I continued on my way. I wasn’t good at making beds, in all honestly mom usually still made mine for me. She was sweet like that. That being said, the act of folding the corners of the floppy and extremely dense futon into the fitted sheet corners was probably the most ungraceful floundering I could have pulled off. I struggled with it till I was practically sweating, as each time I had three corners pinned, one would fly loose when I tried to go for the fourth one. Finally Akamaru sat one the opposing corner as I tucked the futon into it and the job was done… except the other sheets and pillow cases. Once again I crept down the stairs, this time with Akamaru at my heels, and creped to the linen closet. Once there I opened it up and looked for a spare pillow, which was nowhere to be found.

“Akamaru do you see a pillowcase down there.” He whimpered lowley in response. “It's okay buddy.” I grabbed the unfitted sheet and rushed back up the stairs. Kankurou followed me in from the bathroom and went about gathering his stuff near the bed I was setting up. He hauled up the puppets and another bag which I assumed held paints and the tooth brush and came to sit next to the futon.

"So I can't find where the spare pillows went so you can just use one of mine, if that's okay?”

“Sure I don't care. We literally just got through sleeping in mud covered sticks a night ago.” He was unwrapping the head of the crow and decided I no longer wanted to look in that direction, the thing honestly freaked me out. I thought about changing the pillow case, but I had already gone down there twice and had not brought one back so I decided to fuck it, He could deal. That being said I tossed the pillow that I usually shoved between my legs while I slept to the futon. 

He seemed to be tinkering with the head of the crow or something, and although I knew that this was his area of expertise, the smell of poison wafting around was still nerve racking. I wondered idly how much I would have to inhale for it to become toxic? Because surely if I could smell it, I am inhaling it, but also my sense of smell is so keen I wondered if Kankurou could smell it at all? Maybe he's nose blind to it?

“How do you deal with all the poison, isn’t that kinda dangerous?”

At this he gave me a deadpan stare, like I had asked the stupidest question in the book.

“Isn’t being a ninja kinda dangerous?”

It was a rhetorical question.

“Well of course, but that's different than accidentally dying in your bathroom after ingesting your own poison for no good." He sighed admitting defeat and gave in.

"Yes it's dangerous, as a counteractive measure I microdose my poison. I haven't tested it, but by now I should have a pretty good tolerance to it." I resolved to never delve into poison or let anyone close to me go for it either. I thought it was bad enough that Shino had to share his body with bugs. But to have to poison yourself just cope with your method, one mistake and he would be gone, that was too much. He continued to reassemble the parts he had removed while tinkering with the crow, like what he just said wasn't hardly managed crazy.

"It said that there was a ninjia, a toxin specialist, who had spent many years developing the perfect suicide poison, for when push comes to shove, ya know how it is. However, supposedly when the time came for him to use this poison, it was no longer effective on him because of the tolerance he had built up. He was taken as a only prisoner of war, his poison an obvious success, and Information was leaked and the war raged on"Good to know that Kankurou probably won't be accidentally killing himself anytime soon.

" And how tolerant is your body of your poison?"

"I can take three good drops without side effects now, orally that is, I'm sure it would be a different story if I mainlined it or something."

He laughed, and it was pure. And even though I had thought the reason he told me about that man was to remind me of what it means to be a ninja, I thought now that perhaps he was telling me just because it fascinated him. And something in my heart chirred to life because he looked kinda happy tinkering with the crows head, talking about poisons, and toeing the line between life and death it drew. I wondered if that line was where Kankurou might feel the most alive, like standing on a mountain and having nothing out of your sight.

"And me?"

"You what?"

"How much poison would it take to end me?" He smirked.

"I don't know, are you a light weight? How much do you weigh? Have you eaten?"

He had this look on his face, and I knew even though he was entrapping me with all the right questions, he already knew. I could tell. He could probably appraise anyone's dosage if he'd try, but he already knew mine, he was simply unholding a ruse. We had mingled and lived too close for him not to know. He would humor me and leave it unsaid.

"You already know…"

"Sorry, Shinobi's secret." He admitted chuckling. "This," he said gesturing to the air "won't do much, unless you look for it; Placebo and all."

He seemed to be rather settled so I reclined on my bed shoving off the sandals and stretching my arms over my head. Akamaru took the que and hopped up, deciding to rest in between my legs, as if knowing I wouldn't be sleeping on my side tonight.

“Want the lights off?”

“Yea.” And Kankurou must have used his chakra, cause the lights flicked off without further hesitation.

“Night.” I said and he mumbled out something as a response.

It was here when I couldn't escape the final disaster of this day. With the lights off and both of us pretending to already be fast asleep, it weighed down on me with the silence and the sudden stillness of the night: Kankurou would be leaving tomorrow. And if he wasn’t that meant something terrible had probably happened to Tamari and Shikamaru, and I wouldn’t allow myself to be that selfish, to wish he would stay if only for her expense. Because that was too terrible, I wasn’t a great man but surely I couldn’t be that bad, right. I couldn’t let this urge, this want, take me that far. And I'm sure it's just heat of the moment, even if it feels like so much more right now. For fucks sake it had been two days, and I had been half dead for the first of those days. Even if I felt like it must have been weeks. I didn’t know the first thing about him, beyond being a Shinobi, I even had to check to know if his dad was  _ The  _ Kazekage, even though apparently it's smeared all over his face in stunning, poisonous purple. And would I ever, would I ever get to know him? Would I ever even see him again?

The only thing I know is that this, these feelings, this pain, this is what being an Inuzuka is all about. Why my mother never remarried. Why even after every fierce fight we’re still a family. It is because we can never walk away, never falter, because in the end we’re loyal to a fault. And it hurts. It hurts when the rationality falls away for someone like Kankurou, someone unprotectable, unnecessary, and unkeepable, even when everything in me screamed  _ ‘mine’. _

_ He didn’t even want me _

And at last, I slipped into ‘that’ slumber, the type fueled by dred; escapism I think is the word for it, but maybe at this scale it was more… ‘dissociation’.

And those roses, all metallic and shiny, were miles above me, so intact and strong laced with every fiber of feeling I held inside me, while I drifted down under the lake's surface consumed and dragged down by those same thoughts that acted as their foder. Drowning.


	7. Notice

Hello everyone! I really thought this problem would be resolved sooner -like 2 + weeks sooner- however it has not, and such I'm giving you guys a apology for the absence of a new chapter.

I've been working on an unofficial month by month schedule, so I don't think apologies are quite necessary, however the guilt has been gnawing away at me so here I am.

Anyways my computer has broken down and I've been having to replace part after part, and between shipping and diagnosing the next necessary part it's taken quite a long time.

I can expect the chapter to be out most likely by the end of this month and am exceedingly excited to write it.

Sorry for any invested individuals, but don't worry I haven't lost interest, and there WILL be a new chapter as soon as my video card comes in!

Love y'all guys and thanks for sticking it out with me


	8. The Bite Art+Update

Hello Everyone! 

A few quick things:

1)As my new processer for my computer has come in, I will be going back to writing! It will be back to my completely alleged and unofficial schedule of once a month updates. This is so exciting as I Really cant wait to finish this next part of chapter 6; the ball is about to get rolling!

2)Another thing I noticed while I was away is that we've breached the 1k benchmark! I really can't quite express how awesome this is, but I'm really glad everyone is just enjoying themselves here.

3) As some of you may remember, I did bring up the idea of adding some fan art here, and seeing as I have we've got 1k to celebrate, and my computer is fixed, and that needs celebrating too, and I have a brand new tablet which I've been dying to actually use, I decided way not upload a piece! This is only my second ever digital piece so go easy on me, but mostly enjoy :D

I look forward to the new chapter and thank you all so much.


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